Chris Barker has passed away

That is truly sad news, thoughts with his family, already had to deal with the death of his father at a young age. Great player coming through for us, RIP Chris

 

Very sad news RIP Chris

 

I'm not great at the moment but I'm talking to those close to me and seeking support. Really appreciate your offer it means a lot.

 

Great to hear that you've taken the steps to get support. In my experience of these things, that's often the most difficult step to make. Good luck, and I'd just like to echo what SuperTyke wrote - you've got the support of plenty of us on here, me included, if you decide you want it.

 

Thank you, really appreciate that. I don't want to detract from what's happened with Chris though as it shouldn't be about me this thread. Mental illness is horrific and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

 

I think our general awareness of mental illness and what it's about has increased significantly over the last few years. However, it seems that too many people still feel unable to get help, or even know where that help might be available. As someone who has lost far too many people to depression, what seems to have happened to Chris Barker is incredibly distressing, and of course opens up a whole host of questions as to how and why he got to the stage he did. But on the other side of things, you coming on here and openly stating that you are also affected but you've sought help is incredibly important, as it lets others in the same position know that they can do just that.

One of my ex-colleagues recently admitted that he's a long-term alcoholic. He's a very bright and perceptive guy with a tremendous sense of humour, and since his admission in the summer (things came to a head when he lost his new job due to boozing) he has been keeping what he calls his "Beer Diary" on Facebook. It's an open account of his everyday struggles with the physical and mental difficulties of being an alcoholic, and his road to sobriety, which he has set upon with the support of the NHS and those around him.

Apologies as I'm going a bit off topic here, but I just think it's vital that anyone in such a situation knows that help is available if needed. Tragically, it seems that for whatever reason Chris Barker didn't get that help.

 

I totally agree with you. It is really important to take it seriously if someone reaches out to you.

I contacted my best friend just before Christmas and said I really could do with seeing him as I'm not doing to well. He hasn't unfortunately been back in touch after saying yeah we definitely need to meet up. My situation is also complicated as I'm a mental health nurse and therapist. If I seek support then it is likely i'm going to be nursed (if it gets to that) by people I have worked or trained with. I may also have my fitness to practice called into question. Im under a lot of pressure at the moment and just trying to ride it out. I'm having to give therapy to others when Im in a worse place than they are.

 

While depression is the most common factor in a person's decision to commit suicide, it is certainly not the only one. There are many, it's often a combination of factors and an individual's reason is as unique as the person we've lost. I don't know if Chris Barker suffered depression; if he did I don't know if that's the reason he took his life. I do know that without knowledge of the situation we shouldn't presume it was.

I'm not reprimanding anyone. Everyone is saddened by this news. Everyone is trying to be sensitive and respectful. It's just something to bear in mind.

 

That doesn't sound simple at all. I really hope you manage to get things sorted. My cousin is a mental health nurse as well, she's constantly under pressure from all sides. You are all absolute heroes, every one of you. Are you able to present at a mental health unit outside your area of practice so that you don't run into people who you know, or it's more complicated than that? As for your friend, is he aware of how serious your issues are? If not, it might be worth telling him again. Or if he is, I guess the chances are that he's worried about how to handle the situation.

 

Just to echo SuperTyke's offer - I'm sure there are plenty of us on here who have struggled with similar issues (I have!) who are happy to either chat in person or by dm if anyone needs it. Give us a shout if you need it Titus.

So sad to hear about Chris Barker - he was one of those players who break through but we never got to see him play for more than a brief time.

 

That's an excellent point Jay. It's a hugely complex issue. I've realised that I made the assumption on here that Chris didn't feel able to seek help for whatever issues he was having. However, that also may not be true. Speaking from my own sad experience, people can actively seek help, but even this may not be enough to lead to the desired outcome.

 

Sounds as though he has a young family too. I started reading Bairstow's autobiography and it's awful the effect his Dads suicide had on him when he was a boy.

It does make you wonder though how people survive in the most awful of conditions( POW camps for eg.) or after great trauma. And I dont mean that in a people have it a lot worse so pull yourself together type way but more in a how complex is the human mind?

 

Thank you. Think i'm going to have a chat with my manager later today and will see what they say.

 

Awful news about Chris Barker, what a terrible start to 2020, sincere condolences to his family and friends, RIP Chris.

And for @TitusMagee, please add me to the growing list of people ready and willing to listen, and to talk if you want. Happy New Year mate!

 

Thank you, much appreciated and happy new year to you too...

 

That is awful. RIP

 

Mental health does not discriminate.



@TitusMagee Have you heard of a talking group called Andy's Man Club? I have used it and has helped me

 

I have mate, I advise my clients to go to it all the time. Just makes it complicated if I turn up myself thats all. Something to think about though.

 

I have a running battle with my own mental health. In fact, I think I know more people who have struggled than haven’t. It’s only now in the last few years I feel that it’s seen as okay to mention it. Such a stigma attached previously. Thankfully, it’s now seen as what it is - an illness.

And as cliched as it sounds, it really is good to talk. Add me to the list of those here if you fancy a chat. Take care buddy.

 

Storming runs from left back indeed.