Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    I could tell you what position she liked.
     
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  2. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    Pray for my Mother-In-Law

    She's been taken to hospital as a bee landed on her face.

    Luckily she wasn't stung... I was too quick with the spade!
     
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  3. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    I told mother in law I’m gonna dance on her grave .
    Old bats made arrangements to be buried at sea
     
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  4. Sim

    Simon De Montforte Well-Known Member

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    My wife left me because of my obsession with The Fonz.
    Happy days......!!!!...
     
  5. Sim

    Simon De Montforte Well-Known Member

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    A man threatened to hunt me down and attack me with a pair of shock absorbers. He didn’t say when though. The suspension’s killing me.
     
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  6. SuperTyke

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    Mine left me because of my lack of vocabulary.
    I'm lost for words
     
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  7. Sim

    Simon De Montforte Well-Known Member

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    My partner says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy. What planet is she on!.
     
  8. SuperTyke

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    That reminds me actually, my ex wife (I've been married many times) left me because of my obsession with cricket
    It really knocked me for 6
     
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  9. Jul

    Julian Broddle's Perm Well-Known Member

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    Bloke goes to the doctors complaining about his orange nob.
    Doctor takes a look at it and gasps, "Wow. I have never seen anything like that before. Can I ask, do you handle chemicals at work?"
    "No", says the man, "I don't have a job".
    "You don't have a job? So what do you do all day?" replies the doctor.
    "Just sit at home watching porn and eating Wotsits".
     
  10. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Selfridges doesn't sell fridges. Boots don't sell boots
    Curries didn't sell curries, PC World doesn't sell politically correct worlds.
    Any others you can think of?
     
  11. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    Sainsbury’s isn’t an undertaker
     
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  12. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    Slaters are not Roofers
     
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  13. Mar

    Mark Stephenson Member

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    Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong's have a new baby. - The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy WHITE boy - "Congratulations" the nurse says to the new parents - "Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs Wong name the baby?"
    The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "well, two Wong's don't make a White, so I tink we name him Sum Ting Wong"
     
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