Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.
I could tell you what position she liked.
Pray for my Mother-In-Law
She's been taken to hospital as a bee landed on her face.
Luckily she wasn't stung... I was too quick with the spade!
I told mother in law I’m gonna dance on her grave .
Old bats made arrangements to be buried at sea
My wife left me because of my obsession with The Fonz.
A man threatened to hunt me down and attack me with a pair of shock absorbers. He didn’t say when though. The suspension’s killing me.
Mine left me because of my lack of vocabulary.
I'm lost for words
My partner says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy. What planet is she on!.
That reminds me actually, my ex wife (I've been married many times) left me because of my obsession with cricket
It really knocked me for 6
Bloke goes to the doctors complaining about his orange nob.
Doctor takes a look at it and gasps, "Wow. I have never seen anything like that before. Can I ask, do you handle chemicals at work?"
"No", says the man, "I don't have a job".
"You don't have a job? So what do you do all day?" replies the doctor.
"Just sit at home watching porn and eating Wotsits".
Selfridges doesn't sell fridges. Boots don't sell boots
Curries didn't sell curries, PC World doesn't sell politically correct worlds.
Any others you can think of?
Sainsbury’s isn’t an undertaker
Slaters are not Roofers
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong's have a new baby. - The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy WHITE boy - "Congratulations" the nurse says to the new parents - "Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs Wong name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "well, two Wong's don't make a White, so I tink we name him Sum Ting Wong"
Good - A gorgeous girl hugs you.
Bad - You get an erection.
Worse - You realise it’s not yours.
Worst - Now you've got an erection!
A man goes into a pet shop and says to the assistant 'Id like to buy a wasp please.'
'Sorry sir, we dont sell wasps'
'Yes you do, I've just seen one in the window'
went to the doctors the other day for a medical..the doctor asked hows your sex life
i replied ....infrequently
without looking up he said .. shed lad, is that one word or two ....
I went to the pet shop today, whilst looking around I kept hearing a quiet voice saying "Lizard, Lizard, Lizard", then again "Lizard, Lizard, Lizard".
I said to the owner "Is it me, or is there a Gecko in here?"
BFC don't sell Barnsley Fried Chicken.
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a cowboy"
"How long have you felt like that?"
"About a yee-haar!"
This Portuguese bloke once managed to pillock a English football club into giving him a job..
The silly cnuts
THE BARNSLEY FC
BBS FANS FORUM
Separate names with a comma.