Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.
The wife's kicked me out and I'm living in a phone box
Well, it's somewhere to call home
Store assistant excuse me can I help you sir?
I said yes I’m looking for something that goes PING
He said “PING”?
I said yes you’ll do
My grandfather was ill so we took him to the hospital. He started to recover, but then the doctors decided to put butter all over his entire backside. After that, he went downhill very quickly.
Bought my mother in law a Jaguar for Christmas.
Bit ‘er bloody head off.
Been to the hospital today.
They reckon I might have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but at the moment it's hard to say!
Found a Dyson in the loft.
It was just there gathering dust.
The wife got angry with me for going to watch the Reds.
She threw a steak, potatoes and cabbage at me.
I said “Don’t you think you’re making a meal of this?”
Got into a fight with a bloke with a mop.....wiped the floor with him.
Been to the doctors today, told him I can't pronounce my F's, T's or H's.
He said, "Well, you can't say fairer than that then"........,
I love eBay!
I sold my homing pigeon eight times last month.
Skeleton walks into a bar and says, “pint of lager and a mop please”
It could have been a net curtain..........
Just put all of my original John Lennon memorabilia up for auction on EBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.
What do you call a magic dog?
You've just put a smile on my 13 year old daughters face with that one mate. She's a stress head at the minute, GCSE Options week. Couldn't have timed that joke any better.
Glad to be of service. Tell her to write all the subjects on ping pong balls and choose them FA cup style.
This is why I'm not a parent
I've not told the wife but I've just bought some new variant Viagra, drug code 007, online. It says it won't keep you hard for longer but will help you roger moore.......
Speaking of viagra
I went to the chemists the other day and asked if they had any extra strength ones
Chemist: yes we do
Me: can you get it over the counter?
Chemist: yes if i take two
I used to go out with a lass who, unfortunately, had eczema, head to toe.
Lovely girl, cracking tits.
A man went to the doctors, the doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long time "the man replied "I know I've been ill".
THE BARNSLEY FC
BBS FANS FORUM
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