Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. She

    Sheriff Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2006
    Messages:
    1,099
    Likes Received:
    162
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Was it the drive to Coventry in the Prem Season where that one was first unleashed on us?

    Needs you doing the accents in Two Ronnies style for it to really come into its own though.
     
    Metatarsal likes this.
  2. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,872
    Likes Received:
    1,013
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Yes it was, the day of the Dion Dublin dive. And you're right about the accent.
     
    Sheriff likes this.
  3. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Messages:
    2,432
    Likes Received:
    506
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    In Cudeth Nar
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Bloke walks into a theatrical agency got any gigs available ...what you do asks the agent. .I do bird impressions he replies....bird impressions.. no chance mate acts like that went out with the Victorian music halls the agent scoffs ...ok says the bloke opens the window flaps his arms and flys off ....
     
  4. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,861
    Likes Received:
    512
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Why was the scarecrow awarded the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field.
     
  5. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,861
    Likes Received:
    512
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I built an electric fence around my property yesterday. My neighbour is dead against it.
     
  6. Spuggy

    Spuggy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2017
    Messages:
    974
    Likes Received:
    376
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Transport/Warehousing
    Location:
    Brierley
    Style:
    Barnsley
    My mum always used to laugh at me when I used to say I was one day going to make a car out of spaghetti.
    You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
     
    Thrappo Tyke and Connor like this.
  7. bossman

    bossman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    9,317
    Likes Received:
    862
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley
    My dog is named Minton.

    Today he ate a shuttlecock.

    Bad Minton!
     
  8. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    20,490
    Likes Received:
    1,194
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Farnham
    Style:
    Barnsley
    we really could do with a groan button on this thead.

    So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand.

    and
    A cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"
     
    JLWBigLil likes this.
  9. Kam

    KamikazeCo-Pilot Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2011
    Messages:
    670
    Likes Received:
    64
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Location:
    Sunny Darton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Talking of Audi, apparently they have released two new models for the American market, the 'Doody' and the 'Partner'......
     
  10. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2016
    Messages:
    3,177
    Likes Received:
    1,579
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired.
    Location:
    Ossett.
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Mickey Mouse contacted his Solicitor to ask advice on how he could divorce Minnie.
    He was told to write his grievances down and the Solicitor would send for him to discuss
    his reasons. He got a call to go in and see his brief. After exchanging pleasantries the
    Solicitor said " I've looked at your petition Mickey and as your Legal representative, I have to advise
    you, that you can't divorce a female just because she's got buck teeth."
    Mickey looked at the letter and using his finger to point to a sentence he said " No, that's not what I mean. What I am saying, is, I think she's fu*king Goofy."!
     
    wakeyred and DSLRed like this.
  11. bossman

    bossman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    9,317
    Likes Received:
    862
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley
    :D:D
     
  12. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    2,964
    Likes Received:
    165
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    malin bridge
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley
    I'm getting to the point that I may be repeating jokes already in the thread, but I hope I'm not.

    Anyway.... ahem ...

    Apparently David Hasslehoff is changing his name to just David Hoff.. He can’t be arsed with the hassle anymore
     
    Thrappo Tyke and Metatarsal like this.
  13. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    2,964
    Likes Received:
    165
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    malin bridge
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley
  14. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,872
    Likes Received:
    1,013
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Just called in for a pint on the way to the match, a horrible pub called The Fiddle. It really is a vile inn.
     
  15. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,872
    Likes Received:
    1,013
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Will glass coffins ever take off??.....Remains to be seen..........
     
    wakeyred and Thrappo Tyke like this.
  16. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2007
    Messages:
    2,739
    Likes Received:
    1,080
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley
    Ken Dodd Tribute:-

    I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

    Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.

    5 out of every 3 people have trouble understanding fractions.

    I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

    Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party? He pulled a mussel.

    Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you’re in dead trouble!
     
    Old Goat and Connor like this.
  17. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,861
    Likes Received:
    512
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I phoned the council to renew my fishing license,they told me to hold the line.
     
  18. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,861
    Likes Received:
    512
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Just bought some Meatloaf pants.
    On the front it says 'I'll do anything for love.'
    On the back its says 'I won't do that!!'
     
  19. Del Rosso

    Del Rosso Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2016
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    236
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Style:
    Barnsley
    I went to the zoo to see the monkeys wanking
    When I went to see the crocodiles I was still wanking
     
    Thrappo Tyke and Baka like this.
  20. Bak

    Baka Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2014
    Messages:
    2,463
    Likes Received:
    833
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    HAHA.
     

Share This Page