Minor Things That Wind You Up

Folk who pick things up in a super market then deposit them in some other random place in the super market, I mean FFS I saw a whole chicken in the yogurt aisle.

 

Was the chicken shopping?

 

People on trains using their mobile phones and for some inconceivable reason feel the need to
speak in a really loud voice due to a misguided belief, that the entire carriage of fellow commuters
might be remotely interested in what they have to say.

When I represented YPO on a Cabinet Office project to buy the Utilities for Central and Local
Government on a unified national contract, a guy joined the train at Peterborough. He set up
a lap top and then in a loud voice, proceeded to tell whoever was on the other end of his
Mobile ( if in fact there was anyone on it) exactly what he was going to say to the Prime Minister
at the meeting he was to attend later that morning.

When I took my place at the table at the meeting in Westminster, I was surprised to see the same guy
sitting three places away from me. He went as red as a Barnsley shirt when he recognised me and
obviously knew that I had overheard his telecon. The PM was not involved in anyway with the project
and he knew it. It involved two junior Cabinet Ministers. After subsequently meeting the guy several times over
the ensuing twelve months, I formed the opinion that as we say in Yorkshire, he was a full weight pis*baller"
choc full of his own misguided importance.

Quite a number of people were shocked when around 6 months later, he was found guilty of siphoning
off in excess of £3 million of his organisations income by fraudulent means and received an eight year
custodial sentence. I wasn't, as I had him down as a real Walter Mitty character from the get go.


I really didn't mind what happened to him, but I really felt for his boss who had become a real mate.
His Audit Department took the view that he had not put robust enough checks into their accountancy system
to spot what this guy was doing, and after an unblemished and exemplary thirty year career, they "invited" him to
retire. The only possible compensation, is that he did so on full pension.

 

Yep rushing around like mad, like an headless chicken

 

‘Should of’
‘Would of’
‘Could of’
‘Been’ instead of ‘Being’
‘Your’ instead of ‘You’re’
‘Slither’ instead of ‘Sliver’

Yes I’m one of those knobs that call people out for it. It’s just so annoying.

 

Apologies! It’s my spellchecker and the fact that the U is hard to find on my American keyboard.

 

To be fair, I know some people from the midlands that have always said Mom (and spell it they way too). I guess it depends on the area. Some people here say Mam so I don’t see that as being any different to Mom.

One americanism I have noticed a lot recently is the increased use of ‘gotten’ on social media and in online articles.

 

People who hold their phone to their mouth and have their conversation on speaker phone, really annoying

 

I get Hummingbirds on my patio, so I’ve put a feeder out there.

I sometimes change the nectar with Navy Proof Gin, which leads to an interesting time. I blame Shelter-in-Place. (Joking, before I receive the wrath of the Twitchers).

 

I will never ever understand that. Must be a reason for it but I'll never get it

 

On road crossings, when people cross on a normal stretch of road diagonally, then see a car coming and continue to stroll without a care in the world.

 

Their, there, they’re.

Loose, lose.

Your, you’re.

 

Maybe it’s because I live over here, but I thought a Season was a subset of a Series.

 

I've got a theory about that one.

Its all you see on ***** like X Factor. The contestant calls home, and for the benefit of the camera has it on speaker phone so the TV audience can hear.

But then Little Jonny ******** thinks that this is how phones work and does the same.

 

I get Robins on my patio too, but they’re big buggers over here.

 

Brilliant

 

Agree Ian. Pinching a living. Reads all the newspapers and then gives his own opinion
on the content. He winds me up when on Eggheads, a member of the challenging team
gives the correct answer and in an attempt to create tension he then checks with the " Eggs"
to see if the answer is right.

Ben Shepard does a similar thing on " Tipping Point". He will ask a question and if the
contestant jumps in with what turns out to be the correct answer, Shepherd insists on
going over the question and answer again ( for the benefit of the viewers).

Got to the point that I change channels now when they are on. My favourite afternoon
programme at the moment, is " The Repair Shop ". Very simple concept made to look
very easy by some very very gifted people.

 

What gets on my tit's is, I have an autistic grandson (he is no-verbal), not all but most stair at him he can't say anything to them so we bought him a tee-shirt with I'M AUTISTIC WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM across his chest.

 

Bad Weather.
Britain.
Litter.
Lawlessness of Britain.
People who hate Britain.
Jeremy Clarkson.
Russians
Popular culture
Woodhead Pass
Victim hood
Earwigs
NHS
Blokes that like cars.

Thinking about it - the list isn’t that minor.