I was going to post the opening scene of American Pie Naked Mile in the response to the look on your missuses face.
This thread cannot be left without the above evidence. The first two from one house in Barnsley, the third from a different house, but clearly the same poltergeist. This is proof that Tarn is riddled with paranormal activity and spirits. In fact, heard Darfield is built on an Indian burial ground. Once, I saw the ghost of Amos the donkey outside Annie O'Murrays at 4am on a Saturday night after coming out of Che Bar...
I often get sleep paralysis, still frightens me to death, the only thing I can do is moan or grunt so the wife can wake me up, people mention demons sat on your chest lol, went to the doctor and he explained that when you fall to sleep your brain renders your body in a still state so that you can't hurt yourself and you don't act out your dreams, sleep paralysis when your brain puts your body to sleep but forgets to switch off its own light, still a awful experience