Pile Cream

After 2 weeks of scraping my arse across the bedroom floor like a golden retriever l thought i'd seek help from the BBS, like you do.

I've tried a weeks worth of anusol suppositiories thinking it was originally internal until one night whilst drying after a shower l thought l had come across a loose bit of sweetcorn, positioning a mirror on the floor l could see it was an external pile. I found some pile cream in the Mrs's bathroom bag and been using that but the little ******* still won"t go. To make matters worse in the middle of the night and scared shitless of putting the light on, l tiptoed into the bathroom and grabbed what l thought was the cream l had been using only to find out at first light that it was some steroid cream for eczema and l fear now l may have made things worse. I may have roided up the little fecker and it'll be a right lump in the morning.

Any advice would be appreciated, any off the shelf creams where l don't have to visit the olive skinned beauty that resides at Asda pharmacy would also be of great help.

Cheers

Gord.

 

In the exact same boat.

Them suppositories are meant to help. Would be interested to hear any answers also!

 

Sorry Gordon you won't like my advice but the best cream I've had for piles is Scheriproct which is prescription only. If you really must avoid the pharmacy then give Preparation H a try.

 

Wire brush and Dettol mi duk..

 

Could have been worse , you could have picked up a tube of deep heat by mistake .
An error I made a few times playing footy , pee before deep heat not after .
A mirror on the floor doesn't sound like a Roids problem more anot her problem.......

 

You need to see your GP Gordon. Descended Haemmoroids are a risk and I imagine quite painful for you. They may also recommend a Sigmoidoscopy to see if you have any internal ones. Treatment is simple, where a band is placed tightly around each pile,This cuts off the blood supply and eventually the pile comes off.I would also recommend a diet high in Fibre and Fruit and Veg and stay hydrated. It would help if you could take breaks from sitting down and don't strain on the toilet. But please go see your GP.

 

Feel you're pain gordy, nowt worse than a giant arse grape, had one recently for about two weeks, I kept slapping copious amounts suducrem on the ******* and it eventually ****** off, sithi.

 

Get some vagisil round thi ringer pal, seriously thrush cream is awesome for a itchy ringer .

 

Doubt if looking at his Sat Nav will help

 

I find preparation h is good on the (w)hole.

[(C) Mike Myers]

 

At first glance I thought your post was going to be a match report

 

Germaloids cream. Great stuff.

 

After years of suffering with piles I found a cure accidentally. Don't sit on the bog, SQUAT. It works

 

Have you been sat on a cold step?

 

Have a look at TCP ointment. Extremely effective for that kind of thing. It's also got a bit of heat to it, which can be er.... comforting.

Also bear in mind that if it's a single bump there's a possibility may be a small cyst, which will probs need something other than pile cream.

You should see your Doc though.

 

Oooh been there mate had mine injected and the relief was instant I could've kissed the doctor but seeing as my kecks were round me ankles it seemed a little inappropriate

 

The steroid cream won't have made things worse. Actually might have helped. It's used to reduce inflammation which is what piles are. Haemorrhoid creams tend to contain a local anaesthetic to reduce pain and a steroid to reduce inflammation.

I'd give all the off the shelf potions a whirl for a week. Most tend to work for some people and not others. I tried one that many people swear by and it did nowt. Gave another brand a go and the arse grapes were shrivelling up after just a couple of days. If none of them work, take Kettlewell's advice.

 

Looks like you came to the right place for advice Gord - who'd have thought there would be so many problematic arseholes on this BBS?

 

You can get prescription stuff from online doctors if you’re too embarrassed to go see your GP or pharmacist. They just ask a few questions and get you to tick a declaration. Make sure you go to an official site though, you don’t want to be rubbing god knows what on it!