and we were just getting to know each other, she drove up from Nottingham to spend the weekend with me at mine. One Saturday morning we’d used all of our Jonnies and it was time for round 3 sometime after 12 noon (obviously this was before kids ruined our life). So it was time for me to go and stock up on protection. So quickly I got changed and headed to the local garage. I’ve never been embarrassed about buying condoms so just took it all in my stride and casually joined a small queue. By the time I’d got to the front there was a fair queue behind, still not bothered I assertively asked the lady behind the counter for a pack of condoms, which she then replied with a question I’ve never been asked before. ‘Do you want big uns or’t little uns?’ Feeling the pressure of 20 eyeballs on the back of my head the only answer I could give was, ‘Better get me t’ big uns’. She then set off to the store room and came back with a huge box of about 20 condoms, gave me it and charged me £25 quid. I only wanted one.