When I Met my Mrs

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Terry Nutkins, Feb 14, 2019 at 7:49 AM.

  1. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    and we were just getting to know each other, she drove up from Nottingham to spend the weekend with me at mine.

    One Saturday morning we’d used all of our Jonnies and it was time for round 3 sometime after 12 noon (obviously this was before kids ruined our life). So it was time for me to go and stock up on protection.

    So quickly I got changed and headed to the local garage.

    I’ve never been embarrassed about buying condoms so just took it all in my stride and casually joined a small queue.

    By the time I’d got to the front there was a fair queue behind, still not bothered I assertively asked the lady behind the counter for a pack of condoms, which she then replied with a question I’ve never been asked before.

    ‘Do you want big uns or’t little uns?’

    Feeling the pressure of 20 eyeballs on the back of my head the only answer I could give was, ‘Better get me t’ big uns’.

    She then set off to the store room and came back with a huge box of about 20 condoms, gave me it and charged me £25 quid.

    I only wanted one.
     
  2. Spa

    Sparkfield red Active Member

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    Just enough to last you the weekend then
     
  3. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Was in Sheffield last summer with a mate who's a Fowls fan. I saw a sign "Fowls season tickets, half price" in a chemist's shop window. "I'm having that!" said my mate, and went in. After about half an hour he came out, looking sheepish, and carrying a box of 20 condoms. "Where's your season ticket?" I asked. "Too many people in there" he replied.
     
  4. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    She definitely had the best weekend of her life.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2019 at 11:52 AM
  5. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Eee them days have gone. Only time I want it twice. Is just afore I’ve had it once. o_O
     
  6. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    Before kids, its amazing how much time you have to master the art. These days its shhhhhing each other and constantly keeping an eye on the bedroom door. Kinda takes the fun out of it.

    Happy Valentines ladies.
     
  7. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Also took me 30 years practice to hold it back. (premature n all that) Then I couldn’t be arsed.
    Don’t know if it’s a common ditty but lads at work sing “ I don’t care if she comes or not. I’mmm maaacho man” :)
     
  8. Gordon Owen

    Gordon Owen Well-Known Member

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    I cant wait to get on and off it these days, fly by shooting.

    Xvideo's way easier.

    I've got something wrong with me.
     
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  9. Burgundy Red

    Burgundy Red Well-Known Member

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    A mate asked me how I get on with living apart from my missus for 5 months of the year. "Well the sex is better" I told him. "I don't have to lock the door."
     

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