My grandad had a decent one and it always followed him letting rip..... Church or chapple Let the bugger rattle
I used to give some of my old shirts to my father in law but they were usually too big for him. He'd say 'it'll do lad', 'Anything fits a naked man' . Also when you can't shake someone or something off 'like a bloody turd that wint flush'
One of me granddads sayings directed at someone yorping they could drink "a cud sup more boiling tar"
I’ve heard this one a few times about several people but, probably most famously coined by Jim Royle from the Royle Family when describing Chris Evans. “He’s like **** in a field that fella!”
If my dad ever saw a larger lady in skin tight leggings he used to “it looks like a couple of skin heads feighting for’t duvet”
The longer version my mate's dad used to say is Wherever you may be Let the wind blow free Church or chapple Let the bugger rattle
I like to use the phrase from Capstick Comes Home: You gret useless, sporney eyed, parrot faced wassack. He had a way wih words, me father did.
He's that tight he'd split a fart in two. Her arrss is as fat as a Baghdad money lender's. He's as thick as an elephant's foreskin. Said of a defective engine/appliance : it sounds like a skeleton having a w#nk in a dustbin.
Or nicked from David Brent: Eagles may soar majestically but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.