Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

Page 6 of 235
  1. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Mick goes to visit Paddy and finds him building a brick wall in his living room.

    “Bejesus Paddy!” Said Mick. “What the **** is going on?”

    “It’s because of the snow,” replied Paddy.

    “But what’s snow got to do with you building a brick wall in your living room?” asked Mick.

    “I’m working from home,” said Paddy.
     
    Connor, Mar 1, 2018
    #101
    Old Goat and Julian Broddle's Perm like this.
  2. leebrilleaux

    leebrilleaux Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2017
    Messages:
    818
    Likes Received:
    586
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Student, yes a Student even at my age!
    Location:
    Concrete Canyon
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Saw a bloke in tarn the other day - he had a fried egg on his head.
    I sez to him: 'excuse do you know you have a fried egg on your head'
    He replied: 'yes I know......boiled ones just roll off'
     
    leebrilleaux, Mar 1, 2018
    #102
    Julian Broddle's Perm likes this.
  3. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Messages:
    9,799
    Likes Received:
    8,262
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Fillingham
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    A pork pie and a sandwich go into a pub and ask to see the menu.
    The landlord said "Sorry, but we don't serve food."
     
    Mr Badger, Mar 1, 2018
    #103
    Spuggy, Dalestykes, TonyTyke and 1 other person like this.
  4. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Messages:
    9,799
    Likes Received:
    8,262
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Fillingham
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Girl goes to the doctors feeling dizzy.
    Doctor says "Big breaths..."
    Girl replies, "Yeth, and I'm only thixteen."
     
    Mr Badger, Mar 1, 2018
    #104
  5. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Messages:
    9,799
    Likes Received:
    8,262
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Fillingham
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
     
    Mr Badger, Mar 1, 2018
    #105
  6. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    So I rang the new Chinese restaurant and asked:
    "Do you do takeaways?"
    "Yes"
    "What's 45 takeaway 12?"
     
    Connor, Mar 2, 2018
    #106
  7. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    23,677
    Likes Received:
    14,562
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    HERE.
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    Went to doctors n e ses yuv got VD

    I ses no chance I’d like a second opinion
    He says ok your an ugly **** as well
     
    Marlon, Mar 2, 2018
    #107
    Jamo likes this.
  8. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I was given a birthday card once. It said "How many EFFs are there in "PRESENT"?" I opened it up and it said "That's right! NO EFF IN PRESENT!"
     
    Connor, Mar 2, 2018
    #108
    TonyTyke and SuperTyke like this.
  9. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    54,459
    Likes Received:
    28,304
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I was watching porn last night when my mum walked in

    Not the best way to find out she'd got a new job
     
    SuperTyke, Mar 2, 2018
    #109
    Dalestykes, Julian Broddle's Perm, Connor and 1 other person like this.
  10. tingleytyke

    tingleytyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2011
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    1,000
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Used to be Shift Engineer
    Location:
    Tingley
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Middlesbrough 3 Leeds 0
     
    tingleytyke, Mar 2, 2018
    #110
    granty the red, BobT, Baka and 1 other person like this.
  11. Jul

    Julian Broddle's Perm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2016
    Messages:
    2,422
    Likes Received:
    4,383
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    My neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30am this morning. Half past bleedin two in the morning!!!
    Fortunately, I was still up, anyway, playing my bagpipes.
     
    Julian Broddle's Perm, Mar 2, 2018
    #111
    sadbrewer, Dalestykes, Connor and 1 other person like this.
  12. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    54,459
    Likes Received:
    28,304
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris & Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland.
    Barman says “not yew tree again”
     
    SuperTyke, Mar 2, 2018
    #112
    Spuggy, Dalestykes, Metatarsal and 2 others like this.
  13. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    5,992
    Likes Received:
    3,222
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Funniest one all night
     
    TonyTyke, Mar 2, 2018
    #113
  14. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    3,472
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    A new reverend, Father Tagliatelle, has taken residence at Carlton CE Church. He's our new local pasta.......
     
    Metatarsal, Mar 2, 2018
    #114
    Connor likes this.
  15. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    5,992
    Likes Received:
    3,222
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?
     
    TonyTyke, Mar 2, 2018
    #115
    Baka likes this.
  16. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    14,747
    Likes Received:
    13,498
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Carlton
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Boy tells his parents he just had sex for the first time...

    His dad's pleased - "I'll buy you a bike to celebrate, but you will have to wait until next pay day" he says.

    Boy replies, "That's alright Dad, my arse is too sore to ride it right now anyway!"
     
    Bossman, Mar 3, 2018
    #116
    DSLRed, SuperTyke, Metatarsal and 2 others like this.
  17. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    A man with a stutter has died in prison before he finished his sentence
     
    Connor, Mar 3, 2018
    #117
    Metatarsal, TonyTyke, Julian Broddle's Perm and 1 other person like this.
  18. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    54,459
    Likes Received:
    28,304
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I was in bed last night pulling my boxers off when my girlfriend walked in and said please don't do that to the dogs!
     
    SuperTyke, Mar 3, 2018
    #118
    Dalestykes, Metatarsal, TonyTyke and 3 others like this.
  19. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I'm just making dinner and got some herb in my eye , I'm now Parsley sighted
     
    Connor, Mar 3, 2018
    #119
    sadbrewer, Dalestykes, Metatarsal and 1 other person like this.
  20. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    54,459
    Likes Received:
    28,304
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I was late to work at the circus once and they sacked me.

    I'm suing for funfair dismissal
     
    SuperTyke, Mar 3, 2018
    #120
    Dalestykes and Connor like this.
Page 6 of 235

Share This Page