Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    RedStriker, Jun 3, 2019
    #961
    Jay, WorsbroughTyke44, Sparkfield red and 5 others like this.
  2. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    Donny Red, Jun 3, 2019
    #962
    Hooky feller likes this.
  3. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    RedStriker, Jun 3, 2019
    #963
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  4. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
    Paddy says "Are you on foot or in the car?"
    Billy replies "In the car."
    "Well that's the quickest way," says Paddy.
     
    MarioKempes, Jun 3, 2019
    #964
    Winker and Old Goat like this.
  5. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    Paddy's wife was ready to give birth so he rushed her to hospital.
    On arrival the nurse asks: "How dilated is she?"
    To which Paddy replies: "Oh Jaysus, we're both over the feckin' moon!"
     
    MarioKempes, Jun 3, 2019
    #965
    Connor likes this.
  6. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Connor, Jun 4, 2019
    #966
    Jay, WorsbroughTyke44, Hooky feller and 1 other person like this.
  7. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Errr no idea where this name came from
     
    Farnham_Red, Jun 4, 2019
    #967
  8. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    RedStriker, Jun 4, 2019
    #968
    WorsbroughTyke44 and DSLRed like this.
  9. cor

    cornwall tyke Well-Known Member

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    cornwall tyke, Jun 4, 2019
    #969
  10. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    RedStriker, Jun 4, 2019
    #970
    Hooky feller likes this.
  11. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    A big thanks to my neighbour who lent me a large sheet of plastic during the rain yesterday
    Ta-Pauline
     
    RedStriker, Jun 5, 2019
    #971
  12. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    A work colleague who isn’t known for his enthusiasm in his job was seen in the yard kicking a slug .
    When asked why he’d done that he said I’m fed up of it, it’s neen following me around all morning .
     
    Marlon, Jun 5, 2019
    #972
  13. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Just got in from Metrodome, had a p iss in deep end,

    Lifeguard blew his foooookin Whistle that loud , i almost fell in.
     
    Winker, Jun 6, 2019
    #973
    WorsbroughTyke44 and Hooky feller like this.
  14. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    There were a few good and funny nicknames when I was at work. One gaffer was known as Harpic as he was clean round the bend. And another guy known as thrombosis as he was a slow moving clot.
     
    arabian_ian, Jun 6, 2019
    #974
    Donny Red and Marlon like this.
  15. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    Called my boss "knapsack". He was always on my back.
     
    Donny Red, Jun 6, 2019
    #975
  16. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Bloke I worked with was known as opium... Slow working dope
     
    shed131, Jun 6, 2019
    #976
  17. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Called my boss ********, the Autocratic ****, unpleasant 24 / 7,
     
    Winker, Jun 6, 2019
    #977
  18. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    A lad returned to Afghanistan after an absence of 10 years and commented of the cultural change. He said when I left the wife always walked 10 yards behind the husband but now I notice the wife now walks 10 yards infront of the husband. He asked his guide why this change came about.
    Guide replied, landmines.
     
    arabian_ian, Jun 6, 2019
    #978
    shed131, TitusMagee, scarf and 2 others like this.
  19. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    I had a really weird dream last night. Where I used to work, there was a bloke who disliked me.
    Have to say, the feeling was mutual. He worked in our Janitorial and Cleaning equipment
    department. My dream involved me having a heated arguement with him.

    He suddenly reached down and plugged a cleaner in and tried to suck me up into it.
    It really felt as though I was Dyson with death.
     
    Donny Red, Jun 8, 2019
    #979
  20. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    No idea.
     
    Mr Badger, Jun 9, 2019
    #980
    anstonred likes this.
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