Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

Page 68 of 242
  1. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2014
    Messages:
    1,978
    Likes Received:
    4,140
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Due to self isolation in the last 2 weeks I've finished 5 books.

    Believe me that's a lot of colouring
     
    Lordtyke, Apr 11, 2020
    #1341
    Connor, Durkar Red, AthersleyRed and 4 others like this.
  2. Did

    Didcot Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,373
    Likes Received:
    3,212
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location:
    Didcot
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    One from the Tony Blackburn joke book this morning:

    How does a plumber finish with him girl?

    "It's all over Flo"
     
    Didcot Red, Apr 11, 2020
    #1342
    Hooky feller likes this.
  3. BarnsleyReds

    BarnsleyReds Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2013
    Messages:
    11,823
    Likes Received:
    13,955
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    XenForo - Xenith Reds
    What’s the difference between a catholic priest and acne?

    Acne waits until you’re 13 before coming on your face.
     
    BarnsleyReds, Apr 12, 2020
    #1343
    Hooky feller and Redstone like this.
  4. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2005
    Messages:
    16,027
    Likes Received:
    11,471
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    I was trying to think of a joke to put on here this morning but couldn't. My wife suggested I start writing a book instead.

    I said "that's a novel idea"
     
    Redstone, Apr 12, 2020
    #1344
    ScubaTyke and Hooky feller like this.
  5. pompey_red

    pompey_red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    13,502
    Likes Received:
    9,507
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Fareham
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    In these difficult times a story to inspire you to reach for your dreams and never give up.

    My mates missus came a close 2nd in the 1997 Miss Barnsley competition...

    Later that year she was beset by a long period of bad luck...

    She suffered years of drug and alcohol abuse hanging around peel street bogs wasn’t nice and a series of eating disorders didn’t help...

    She lost a leg due to an infection and needed facial reconstructive surgery after a road traffic accident...

    Later she suffered 80% burns in a factory fire...

    Several of her teeth were knocked out and an eye gouged out in a fight outside Wellington street kebab shop...

    The stress caused severe hair loss and facial warts but she never stopped believing

    And then finally, last month....

    She was crowned Miss Sheffield 2020

    Never give up on your dreams.
     
    pompey_red, Apr 13, 2020
    #1345
    dearnevalleyviper, sadbrewer, Durkar Red and 8 others like this.
  6. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2016
    Messages:
    17,306
    Likes Received:
    19,737
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Retired, full time grandad.
    Location:
    Mapp.
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Read it art. Ar lass said “ez tha gorra picture.” :)
     
    Hooky feller, Apr 13, 2020
    #1346
    pompey_red and Connor like this.
  7. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,337
    Likes Received:
    4,199
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    37983F1F-A640-4D11-A839-4FE0F32B14A8.jpeg
     
    Connor, Apr 13, 2020
    #1347
    anstonred, Durkar Red, Didcot Red and 5 others like this.
  8. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2016
    Messages:
    17,306
    Likes Received:
    19,737
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Retired, full time grandad.
    Location:
    Mapp.
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
    Then they call me ugly and poor.
     
    Hooky feller, Apr 13, 2020
    #1348
    sadbrewer, Cowboy and Connor like this.
  9. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2005
    Messages:
    16,027
    Likes Received:
    11,471
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    A man goes into a pet shop and asks for a dozen bees. The assistant counts out 13 bees.
    "That's one too many says the customer"
    The assistant replies "it's a freebie"
     
    Redstone, Apr 13, 2020
    #1349
    Baka, ScubaTyke, Hooky feller and 1 other person like this.
  10. kestyke

    kestyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    3,369
    Likes Received:
    1,650
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    In the chestnut tree cafe, waiting
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley
     
    kestyke, Apr 13, 2020
    #1350
    arabian_ian, DSLRed, BobT and 3 others like this.
  11. Austiniho

    Austiniho Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2018
    Messages:
    3,952
    Likes Received:
    4,020
    Trophy Points:
    113
    So that’s where all the bog rolls went!!!
     
    Austiniho, Apr 13, 2020
    #1351
  12. leebrilleaux

    leebrilleaux Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2017
    Messages:
    818
    Likes Received:
    586
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Student, yes a Student even at my age!
    Location:
    Concrete Canyon
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    English Lesson at school - Syllables
    Miss: Could anyone give a word that has 2 syllables?
    Jenny: Mat-ter mis
    Miss: Well done Jenny - can anyone tell me a word with 3 syllables?
    Jenny: Care-ful-ly miss
    Miss: Correct Jenny clever girl Jenny well done Can any one give me a word with 4 syllables

    The class goes quiet for a few secs before...

    Jenny: Mass-ter-bay-shun
    Miss : (going bright red before she says, trying to deflect attention) gosh Jenny that was a bit of a mouthful
    Jenny: (as quick as a flash says) Miss I think you're confusing that with blowjob Miss
     
    leebrilleaux, Apr 13, 2020
    #1352
    sadbrewer likes this.
  13. kir

    kirkhamtyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    2,107
    Likes Received:
    1,319
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Kirkham (Between Preston and Blackpool)
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Corrie tonight, scriptwriter was taking the piss.

    Norris was reminiscing how much he enjoyed 'polishing his helmet'
    Ken likes to 'slip in a few lengths ' in the afternoon.
    Oliver spends all day playing with his joystick.
     
    kirkhamtyke, Apr 13, 2020
    #1353
  14. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2005
    Messages:
    16,027
    Likes Received:
    11,471
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    I once took the p out of a Pirate.

    It made him very angry.
     
    Redstone, Apr 14, 2020
    #1354
    anstonred, Lordtyke, Mido and 6 others like this.
  15. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2016
    Messages:
    17,306
    Likes Received:
    19,737
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Retired, full time grandad.
    Location:
    Mapp.
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    If you decide to make a face mask out of a bra. Only use the left cup.
    Else you'll look a right tit.
     
    Hooky feller, Apr 14, 2020
    #1355
  16. kestyke

    kestyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    3,369
    Likes Received:
    1,650
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    In the chestnut tree cafe, waiting
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley
    kestyke, Apr 15, 2020
    #1356
  17. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2005
    Messages:
    16,027
    Likes Received:
    11,471
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    I couldn't sleep last night so I started reading the dictionary.
    By 4am I was past caring.
     
    Redstone, Apr 15, 2020
    #1357
    Hooky feller, Connor, Old Goat and 2 others like this.
  18. Burgundy Red

    Burgundy Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2008
    Messages:
    4,879
    Likes Received:
    2,604
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Ninja (retired)
    Location:
    Somewhere between Heaven and Woolworths
    Style:
    Barnsley
    IMG-20200415-WA0002_20200415_195156737.jpg
     
    Burgundy Red, Apr 15, 2020
    #1358
  19. Burgundy Red

    Burgundy Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2008
    Messages:
    4,879
    Likes Received:
    2,604
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Ninja (retired)
    Location:
    Somewhere between Heaven and Woolworths
    Style:
    Barnsley
    IMG-20200415-WA0005_20200415_195156545.jpg
     
    Burgundy Red, Apr 15, 2020
    #1359
  20. Burgundy Red

    Burgundy Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2008
    Messages:
    4,879
    Likes Received:
    2,604
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Ninja (retired)
    Location:
    Somewhere between Heaven and Woolworths
    Style:
    Barnsley
    IMG-20200415-WA0004_20200415_195156614.jpg
     
    Burgundy Red, Apr 15, 2020
    #1360
Page 68 of 242

Share This Page