Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    arabian_ian, Oct 20, 2022
    #3381
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  2. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    arabian_ian, Oct 20, 2022
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  3. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    arabian_ian, Oct 20, 2022
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  4. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    Reports Tory MPs doing Paper Scissors Stone in Westminster foyer.
    Winner gets to go home
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2022
    Marlon, Oct 20, 2022
    #3384
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  5. winged avenger

    winged avenger Well-Known Member

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    winged avenger, Oct 20, 2022
    #3385
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  6. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    North Yorks Red, Oct 20, 2022
    #3386
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  7. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    I was chatting up a gypsy bird in the pub last night, when she asked if i wanted to go back to her place and have a good time. She wasn't ******* kidding. I went on the waltzers, the dodgems, the ghost train. I even came home with a goldfish!
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Oct 20, 2022
    #3387
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  8. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    A woman on a rather rough Council estate phoned the council , as her lavatory would not flush .
    Duly a young man arrived at the front door in a Council van .
    A very polite young man ..
    'Good morning madam ' he said cheerfully. 'I believe that your ablutions are malfunctioning/'
    She looked at the young man and said 'Can't you speak ******* English?'
    The young man was somewhat taken aback . So he took the Bull by the horns.
    'I believe you have a **** house that won't work?' he said
    She looked at him and replied 'Oh yeah ! He's in the front room watching the Football . Do you want to see him?'
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Oct 20, 2022
    #3388
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  9. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    Man approaches woman in shopping arcade." Excuse me i can't find my wife, can i talk to you for a few minutes?" Woman say "Ok, but do you have any idea where your wife might be?" "Not a ******* clue but every time i talk to a woman with tits like yours, she appears out of ******* nowhere!!!!"
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Oct 20, 2022
    #3389
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  10. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Connor, Oct 20, 2022
    #3390
  11. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Connor, Oct 20, 2022
    #3391
  12. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    shenk1, Oct 21, 2022
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  13. winged avenger

    winged avenger Well-Known Member

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    winged avenger, Oct 21, 2022
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  14. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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    Brush, Oct 21, 2022
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  15. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    It reminds me of a few lines apparently in Paul Daniels book (not that I’ve read it ! Honest !!)
    He reminisces of a gig he did at the Baa Baa club in Barnsley many years ago before he became a tv celebratory.
    He mention a notice up in the Dressing room which read “ Will all Artists please refrain from asking the audience if they are enjoying themselves as this has caused unwarranted incidents “ :)
     
    Marlon, Oct 21, 2022
    #3395
    Stephen Dawson likes this.
  16. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    arabian_ian, Oct 22, 2022
    #3396
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  17. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    3 blokes walked in the pub lastnight dressed in black socks,black shorts,black tops and each carrying a whistle. I said to my mate, “ it’s gonna kick off in a minute”.
     
    dearnevalleyviper, Oct 22, 2022
    #3397
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  18. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Tarntyke, Oct 22, 2022
    #3398
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  19. kestyke

    kestyke Well-Known Member

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    kestyke, Oct 22, 2022
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  20. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    Bossman, Oct 24, 2022
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