at the risk of dry loving quips

You started it ...

... with the monitor question.

Luckily I won't accept a new monitor.
I've also hired Johnny Cochran, who plans to use his 'Chewbacca' defence.

You are doomed.

Give it another hour & you'll have no home to go back to.
You'll have to move in with Hartog.

 

RE: You started it ...

Thanks to certain people and Google World I know where you live.

In the words Turbo B. "So please stay off my back, or I will attack and you don't want that"

PS. your grass is blurred, I think it needs weeding or something.

 

Incorrect.

It's not grass.
It's snakes - like on Indiana Jones ... it's blurred cos they are wriggling about - protecting my house from the internet nutters.

As the suicide pilot said ''I've got the tower''.

 

RE: Incorrect.

seriously, I still trying to get out of this thread, do I need a ladder?

It's nice that the snakes leave the path clear in case of emergency access. Is that the milkman just popping in?

 

And if you find they've sold out

try this

http://www.stubhub.com/

 

Aye.

He delivers his creamy load there every week.

The path is covered is anti-serpent gravel.
It's £2.80 a bag from Wickes.

Is the washing still out?

You can't leave this thread now.
If you try to - I'll hire Keanu Reeves & his underworld family to sue you, before he tries to catch some bank robbers in US Presidents masks whilst fighting Agent Smith & hiring out his brain as a storage device.

 

Anti-serpent gravel?

Does that keep slow worms off as well? Is that £2.99 for a 50kg or 25kg bag? How many bags would I need for 20 square metres?

The washing is still out, but there's a body in the 'grass' with a peg bag. Partial success I'm guessing.

Massive pants by the way.

 

I'b better get home.

She's forgotten the anti-viper wellies again.
Last time I had to cut her out of a 24ft boa.
Not a feather one either.

Those aren't big pants.
They're my shirts - I only have one arm.

Panic over.
The wife is at work.
It must be the motherf*cker-in-law.
Excellent.

 

RE: I'b better get home.

Not that we've talked B*ll*cks for long, but Cheftyke had a lovely time in Vegas and Elton John was great apparently.

 

Not just that ...

... someone has won a 'Director for the day' thingy - and decided to sell the fecker.

And some other stuff.

This site is great.
Apart from the football.
Which is obviously ****.

 

cheers mate

thats a really useful site. is there an english equivilant of it do you know?

 

It's a mobile phone

not a flipping camera. You ********.

 

RE: It's a mobile phone

These new modern phones sometimes have cameras built in you agrophobic buffoon.

 

RE: It's a mobile phone

and they work in paddling pools, so I hear.

 

RE: It's a mobile phone

Thumbs up to that then.

They certainly work through narrow apertures into girls changing rooms. Aapparently.

 

My phone cost £18

It doesn't allow you to phone anyone further away than shouting distance. It certainly hasn't got a camera on it.

I drunk two litres of gin over christmas. Have that!

 

RE: My phone cost £18

What make was it ?

 

RE: My phone cost £18

Is this the same Virginia you had sex with twice?

Your "phone" is two cans connected with string innit?

 

Ironically

Seamans or Siemans or summat

http://shop.orange.co.uk/shop/show/handset/siemens_a62/detail/pay_as_you_go

 

Unless you were talking about the gin

Which was Gordon's. I've drunk 2 litres of Gordon's juice.