Bbser’s gaffe

Working at home, absent mindedly twirling a biro in my ear, as you do, whilst waiting for something on the laptop to finish, the pen top came off and lodged in my ear. Had to visit the local walk in centre.

Waiting room full of people:

"I need to see a Doc please"

"What's it about"

"I've got something in my ear"

"What, like a growth or a lump?"

"No, a pen top"

Cue laughter.

 

I actually saw a YouTube vid where a bloke was trying to finish cutting down a tree with a chainsaw after it had run out of fuel.

 

The spelling of this thread title for a start...it's gaffe not gaff

 

That’s what I’ve wrote

 

I once put the clock back an hour on the Saturday evening before I went to bed. My brother came in later and he put the clock back another hour. I got up the next morning, looked at the clock and thought I was going to be late for our Sunday League match. I quickly dressed, got my boots and sped off in the car only to find the pitch deserted. It still hadn't dawned on me what had happened so I assumed we must be playing away. I drove to our opponents pitch and there were a few players waiting to set off for our pitch. I asked if the match had been put back an hour and that's when I was told the correct time. I never mentioned it to the lads when I turned up at our home pitch an hour later.

 

I know someone who may or may not have filled up their unleaded fuel tank with diesel.

 

Once had a dump in the wrong poolside apartment in Crete

 

Ive posted this previously
Many many moons ago whilst pulling out of Victoria coach station one night, with the rapid service, our final destination Rotherham in the early 80s
A guy jumped in front of the coach waving his arms fanatically, with his coach ticket in his hand causing me to brake sharply
Now the golden rule was and still is once you leave the stand you aren't allowed to open the doors and start loading again but seeing as it was fair chucking it down and blowing a right gale and we were the last bus I thought I'd make an acception, The next thing my hostess and I know the guy who was tall and built like a brick SH is coming up the coach steps stinking of booze, slurring his words and sounding like Steve McClaren
Rotherrrrrrdan he says offering his ticket.
Yes I replied go and sit down we will take your ticket off you later
Off he goes and sits down and promptly falls a sleep.
Now in my defence the coach ticket of the journey he actually wanted were very similar to ours, the difference were in the sequence of the red white and blue lines on the ticket
Fast forward to Sheffield bus station and the hostess and myself both fuming we are having to go to Rotherham for one passenger especially when it was well known 9 times out 10 you were empty at Sheffield
So I drive over to Rotherham the guy still fast asleep, no matter how loud I shouted Rotherham he just continued sleeping
So I got out of the saddle and very carefully gave him a shake saying come on buddy you're in Rotherham he woke up startled jumped up looked out of the window and said This isn't Rotterdam whoops A proper Dutchman
We had to make some hasty telephone calls to get folk out of bed.
In the end we took him to Barnsley depot and the powers that be put him on the following early morning journey back to London

 

Most recent of many. Where was Capri int tarn. Eh Jud.
Glad I just didn't add what I thought of the Escort lol.