Cat problem

That goes without saying. Anyway my cat says he's not scared of you or your super soaker!!

 

Any cat will be safe from me, I'm a lousy shot! I'm glad your cat's not afraid of me. Nor should it be. I'm a big, fat, loveable, old teddy bear.

 

My pets do tend to like Dodworth people. Uncle Ian just been and taken that lovely puppy I sent you pictures of for a walk.

 

The little doggy was highly useful as he attracted some extremely welcome attention from a young lady we were passing. When can I borrow him again? Can I take him to the pub on Saturday night?

 

He says yes if you buy him some beef crisps

 

If circumstances were different job wise, I'm sure said gentleman would get his own pet dog. As he says elsewhere, they are wonderful in helping strike up a conversation with attractive ladies. Not that he needs any help!

 

I've told him when he fully retires I'm getting him a car full of cats and dogs!

 

That's that then, they don't sell beef crisps in my local. What about pork scratchings or chinny medders?

 

And it wouldn't bother him one iota. They'd certainly be well cared for.

 

It's a good job my missus doesn't post on here. She'd be having kittens if she read all this.

 

I'd forgotten it was THAT pub!! Says he'll make do with pork scratchings at a push

 

And itching, scratching and sneezing!!

 

Whilst you looked after the puppies!

 

It's bizarre, they only sell salt & vinegar, cheese & onion and plain. They make you feel like a Russian KGB officer if you ask for beef. Or if you ask for mineral water, for that matter.

Last night someone asked for tap water. The twin laser beams that followed were far more potent than anything you could produce.