Convenience Marriage

I've been through it. Leaving your kids is the hardest thing you will ever do, if nobody else is involved fight for your marriage and put your kids to bed each night. People give up too easy life is not easy. Sincere best wishes for you and your family.

 

Little un has just turned 6 and the thought of not being an every day part of her life is well unthinkable. But am I doing myself a favour by sticking around just for her?

Me and the mrs get on well as friends but the spark has gone. If I'm honest I don't really "fancy" her anymore and we have slipped into a life of going through the motions.

 

My heart sunk when i read your post, sort it out, snap out of it, take the wife away for the weekend, look at your marriage from her side and fookin try. Fancy her honestly you are talking ******** she is your child's mum and deserves to be treated better than that. Don't suffer the pain I did without fighting to keep your family the most important thing in the world together.

 

Feel for you mate. I was there 25 years ago. Hurts like mad when you can only see your kids twice a week and worse when you know there is another man in the house bringing them up.

Keep good contact with your kids and never bad mouth their mother. Remember that they love her as much as they love you and none of this is their fault.

If it comes to it get your own pad and provide a room for your kids when they visit. Include them in your new life.

Good luck for the future mate. Hope all goes well.

 

http://www.kiwireport.com/realizing-truth-divorce/2/


Read this in full mate

 

I think it's important that you satisfy yourself that you have put every last ounce of energy into trying to make your marriage work. You owe this to yourself, your wife and your child.

If you don't do the above then I imagine it will be something you deeply regret at some point in the future.

Hope it works out for you.

 

No one can advise you what to do, but for me the thought of not being with my kids everyday of their growing years is unthinkable. People say that they grow up so fast, and they do. Not sure of your age but your daughter will have probably left home anyway in 12-14 years. Unless your 60 that's plenty of time for a new beginning, especially if you plan for it. Can't think of anything in this life that is more important to me than my kids.

Also wouldn't it be much easier to try and rekindle the relationship. Easier said than done I know, but it sounds like you're just bored with it at the moment. For me your efforts would be better spent trying to fix your relationship with a woman you once felt for, than trying to forge a strong one with your child from a distance. Unfortunately sexism is rife when it comes to divorce and kids, presumably you would be the one to move out.

 

Interesting read, will have to find the video.

 

you have pm

 

My wife had PMT.

 

If the spark has gone. Reignite it. Do what you did before kids arrived.

It can become mundane but you have to make sure that time for you 2 remains. Without the kids.

Maybe that what people refer to as "date nights" can rekindle that lost feeling.

One thing at least try before walking. You never know and then at least neither of you can say you didn't make that final effort.

 

If you get on well as friends then if I was you I'd stay but adjust expectations. I was imagining constant fighting and a toxic situation for the kid but just being a bit bored is totally liveable with. At the end of the day, I think it boils down to 2 things and which one you value higher: your daughter or your romantic life. If you're thinking of leaving to get a more exciting girlfriend then is that really worth giving up seeing your kid grow up for? You might end up with no-one and being alone, you might end up with someone and then get bored of them in X amount of years. You obviously fancied your wife at some point so even if you meet someone you fancy like mad now, you may end up feeling exactly the same as you do now but having lost your kid in the bargain. I'd suggest either doing as others have said and trying to rekindle your relationship or if you really can't be bothered/don't fancy doing that then just agreeing to live as friends if possible.

 

What a lovely post! Once again good luck Norfolk Red.

 

Fooooking hell pal !!!
I'm not a hairdresser but I know some people that are.
One thing about hairdressers- they get to know most people's private lives.
And what I am told - I can assure you that a large percentage of couples live the way you do right now.
So stick with it.

Just find room to do your own thing e.g. Nights out with yer mates, if you know what I mean.

 

If the trust is still there then hang in there. If it's gone then I think your better apart. I've gone/going/nearly divorced over the last 3 years but the trust had totally gone due to things I'd done and a mistake she'd made. Neither of us would commit wholeheartedly to getting any help, each blaming the other, saying the other should get help. all the time our young daughter witnessed rows and raised voices etc. Since we have been separated my daughter has improved at school and our separate relationships with her have improved significantly thankfully. I've been separated over a year now and going through the last stage of divorce, the financial settlement, that will sting a bit I must warn you now. Sadly the law is heavily tipped in the woman's favour regardless. The toughest thing for me is she's moving back to Barnsley with my daughter so I'm losing out so much more than she is. I'm gunna miss a lot of her teenage growing up years even though I'll get to see her every other weekend and it's only an hour up the road, I know now it won't be the same and will be bloody hard, I love my little girl so very much as any father should.
Like I say, if there's no trust issues between you then my advice would be to hang in there pal.