Curfew for Men!

Censorship is never the answer.

 

I'm attracted to women. It's in my DNA. It's in most men's DNA. There's nothing wrong with that or to be ashamed about. I find some women more attractive than others which is why I went out with some and didn't with a lot more when I politely asked them out and they said no.
Being attracted to the opposite sex isn't wrong. What is wrong is harrassing them, making them feel uncomfortable, stalking them, making unwanted comments and generally making their life a constant status of risk assessment and fear because some men see them as fair game and it's all a bit of laddish and just a joke fun innit?

 

I think he was saying it is a problem with society rather than a particular group?

 

I think your parents give you the moral compass. That's why you, me and others question some things we've done, situations we've been in. But not everyone gets that compass from their parents. I've met/worked with people who don't even understand the concept of right and wrong. Which is a bit frightening.

 

Not from the grooming references and one or two other points. Some were generalised.
Don't get me wrong I detest the way every major religion has treated women. Fortunately Christianity has, in the main, been eroded to the point where the repression of women is no longer something they can get away with. But the grooming suggestion? I grew up in Barnsley in the 60s and 70s where there was no racial minority. Just overwhelming anglo saxon and it was that group that were guilty of treating women at times as second class, as sex objects and thought it all perfectly normal.
To be honest we've come a long way from those days but there's still a hell of a long way to go.

 

@red24/7

I'd quote your post but its messed up and won't work.

To think that women under 40 today don't watch porn is very naive to say the least! My experience is that they very much do! It isn't a male only thing anymore.

I would also say it is pretty safe to say that more women of that age group own sex toys compared to their male counterparts.

Sex itself isn't the problem. Watching porn doesn't make people go out and rape or murder someone.

 

The nearest I ever came to getting a glimpse of what it must be like for a woman was in 2000. I had gone to New York by myself (yes, Billy No Mates) and one of the bucket list things to check off was to go to Twilo, the infamous nightclub (later closed by that paragon of virtue Giuliani). Junior Vasquez was resident DJ. Lovely.

What I hadn't realised because I am a little slow sometimes is that Vasquez's night was a massive gay night. Not to worry though and soon I was strutting my stuff on the dancefloor.

But then started an almost unrelenting procession of guys coming up to me, grabbing me and dancing with me. I'd politely move away then the same would happen again. And again. Eventually I had to sit down on the steps around the dancefloor. Upon which time a pair of legs wrapped around me. Incredible.

And that was just one night. Imagine that happening every night out. I can laugh about it because it was an unusual occurrence for me but if it ruined every night out, different story.

 

There is a long way to go.....

 

I meant the ladies statement about curfews was unhelpful.

 

Ok thats fine. Again sorry for the misunderstanding.

 

Maybe I am generalizing then when I see it as society’s fault along with the rest of his list. We as a society allow these things to happen and interest groups sway where investigations take place for their own purposes or for misguided reasons of political correctness. We have a long way to go and I don’t honestly know how we get there... we could (should?) chemically castrate all rapists but then some would say that is against their human rights and others would quite rightfully say that the ‘justice’ system makes mistakes and can also sometimes be bought so cannot be relied on...

 

I was followed around by a creepy guy at the Burnley blues festival when I would have been around 15, not nice, and as I recall he tried to touch me a couple of times, fkn nonce.

 

what total nut job .

 

Absolutely stupid suggestion.
Does anyone really think that a murderer is going to stop and say oh hang on I won't bother killing someone today because I'm not supposed to go out at night anyway?

It's a very very sad fact of life that both men and women will occasionally get attacked or worse at night when alone. It's extremely disappointing that instead of this being a 66million none murderers against a few thousand murderers issue it's being turned into a men versus women thing. I know so many men who have been violently attacked when they've been out walking alone but largely nobody cares.

Wasn't someone convicted of randomly murdering a man just a few days ago? I didn't see it being front page news, names read out in parliament etc. Why? It was only a man

We need to stop this policy of segregating society and saying some lives are more important than others, some deaths are more noteworthy etc. Crime is wrong, murder is wrong. Murder of a white man, a black man, a white woman, black woman, trans, cis or whatever. It's all bloody wrong.

I am a man, I'm fairly tall and physically quite fit but inside I absolutely crap myself if I walk past a group of men on my own or if I walk past someone at night and the sad thing is that I know that the chances of anyone trying anything are so remote but I still do worry and I get that women feel exactly like that too. My point is it's not JUST women who have this rational or irrational fear, most of us do. Why? Because these awful crimes happen to both men and women but if you watched any TV station this week or read any newspaper you'd think it's a man versus woman thing with men being monsters and women being the victims. That's not true, there is good and bad in every gender. Almost a year ago a child was murdered at random by a woman, there was no call for women to be banned from parks.

We need to stop demonising people based on their gender, race or any other prejudiced reason and instead focus on driving out the mobsters that live among us. Yes a curfew for all men would reduce crime but at what cost? Why not go the whole way and remove all children from single mothers too because some of them beat their kids. Statistically if you removed all kids from single mothers you would save lives but we can all agree that is an absolutely crazy suggestion that has no merit.

 

What a clown she is, probably hates men, never had kids and keeps cats

 

She's in the House of Lords so you can add "Senile" and "out of touch with reality" to the list....

 

I see the article as a conversation starter (which it has managed to do). This is very specifically about educating all men to be aware of this particular issue re how women perceive their safety in day to day activities. It is different to our male perceptions. We need to be allies and intervene if necessary when we see situations that women are uncomfortable with. I am not saying other issues aren’t important. I am saying on this one issue let’s agree to improve and modify our behaviors and challenge the behaviors of others when we see it occurring.

I see the remains of the missing woman have been found. Basically a terrible news story has upset a lot of women. Some of them shared their anger, others their stories of abuse or near misses and others have tried to start a conversation. And that act of sharing is apparently now to some men scare-mongering and in some cases becoming "won't someone think of the men?". How did that happen? There are many issues in the world that need addressing but boy if we could let women do what we take for granted, without having to plan their route, exit strategy, what they are wearing, how they make eye contact (usually not), where their car is parked, having their keys in their hand ready, informing friends they are taking a taxi and a whole raft of things we, as men, rarely have to do then the world would move forward in a positive way.

No need to say more but I will. I think we do know it is "not all men" BUT all men have responsibility to help all women be safe and feel safe imo. This link gives oyu the end of Daniel Sloss's X Show (dont think it is available in UK). He was slated for it a bit, as the rest of his stuff is really funny but take the time to watch - the message is extremely powerful - https://twitter.com/GarryCarmody/status/1369760683068428293

 

Yeah, because murderers and rapists respect curfews...

 

I absolutely agree. But the perpetrators are the criminals, not the male population.

I said earlier on that the baronesses views were in my opinion to create such debate. But by being divisive it for me dilutes the point she was trying to make...The monsters aren’t men, the monsters are the criminals. Yes there is more that men can do and I absolutely think that women should be able to go where they want, but criminalising all men without cause will not help to make women safer. It sort of implies even more that women should be afraid of men, therefore perpetuating this stereotype of all men being women hating thugs.

In a world where we are trying to steer clear of stereotypes and prejudice, this is a strange angle to take.