simple answer is this wait till this pathetic fad of bicycles passes. Then you can stop growing ridiculous side burns and stop dressing like spiderman on an acid trip. The entire motoring world will be happy as you will not be among the annoying bastads cluttering our roads each evening and week ends , in a vain attempt to think they are athletic. Then you might go and take up something more manly and appreciated like crocheting your own frocks, needle point or toad sexing.
Re: simple answer is this Oooohhhh get you! What did you do when you had your mid life crisis? By the way, you do realise that "off road cycling" means not on roads? Just thought I'd pint out the obvious.
The only people that moan about cyclists on the road are bad drivers who lack confidence (in my opinion). Getting round them's easy & 99% of them aren't idiots