Does anyone know how I write out in number form half a trillion US dollars?

RE: He's a businessman

Especially blonde hairdressers with plastic tits. I hope.

 

Everyone loves pens

Can't wait for Christmas when I'll get an assortment of pens. They're a reight gift.

 

US and UK trillions are different.

 

RE: Everyone loves pens

Why ? You can't write.

 

RE: five hundred billion is half a trillion. Which is what he wanted to know.

Dont worry about me, im alright deep down.</p>

Somewhere.</p>

I hope.</p>

</p>

 

RE: Everyone loves pens

I'm crossing my fingers for pens and picture frames.

 

What do you get someone after you've bought them a pen?

I mean, how the hell do you top that!

 

Blotting paper ?

 

Whoever it is I'm sure they'll love it.

"Why Mr Hartog, a pen! How did you know?"

 

Words cannot convey my contempt for you so...

 

Anyway

This should keep you busy

http://www.pensrus.com/

 

By the way, and I'm not a gay

But I thought of you last night.

I've no doubt mentioned before that I work, in my spare time, for the fire service and ambulance service - saving lives and stuff. And last night we got called out to a really fat old woman stuck in the bath, tits like deflated airships and a matted muff, and I don't know why but I immmediately thought 'Hartog'

 

How did she call the emergency services if she was stuck in the bath?

 

RE: How did she call the emergency services if she was stuck in the bath?

Obviously by the time Scarfy got there, Hartog had left.

 

Mobile phone - you fat old witch.

The description of the bint in the bath sounds like you.

Now get fecked right off.

 

Emergency Pull Cord (red)

that's next to the bath, which alerts the warden, who calls the Emergency Services

 

So you take your mobile with you into the bath

For just such emergencies?

I might have to start doing that, now I'm getting on in years.

 

Makes a lot more sense than Ponty's answer (the twonk)

Do you do all this life saving stuff free of charge?

 

Hartog has one of those.

But he pulls the cord & it lets the water out and flushes him down the plug hole ... right back to the Wonka factory, or summat.

I think I had an angel dust sandwich for lunch.

 

Yep.

I always put the mobile on the shelf next to the bath.
I do it in case your Mum phones me - I can then knock one out surfing style.

I don't know what I'm talking about.