Important news for all biscuit dunkers

2 peanuts and a wallnut whip

The genitals of pale ginger kids at school.

 

Ahhh.

I bet you ended up with "chocolate" all down your face.

Do you realise that TM once poured fudge sauce from his limited edition coffee flavoured walnut whip into a bog standard walnut whip?

I give up.

 

Oh dear

something tells me this is going to go down the quim cacking route

 

RE: Ahhh.

I used to like pouring condensed milk ontp the meringues of a lady friend of mine who had a smooth standard walnut whip. I think.

 

I'm still trying to work out the mechanics ...

... of how you can "cack the quim".
To be fair - it's pure genious & something I wholeheartedly intend to try.

My conversation with the stinky bloke who claimed to own the Omega massage parlour:

Stinky: Do you want a pint?
TFP: Why?
Stinky: I've just had a really big win
TFP: Ascot?
Stinky: No, the footy
TFP: Which game?
Stinky: Sweden v Germany
TFP: You mean the game that still has 10 minutes to play?
Stinky: Yes
TFP: First goalscorer?
Stinky: No - I took Sweden at 5/2 on - with a 2 goal German handicap
TFP: You took Sweden, not the draw?
Stinky: Yes
TFP: Then you've lost - cos it's 2-0 ... which makes it 2-2 with the handicap, not a Sweden win
Stinky: You don't understand betting
TFP: You don't understand bathing
Stinky: Do you want a drink then?

Kinell fire.
The man had 3 inches thick dandruff on his shoulders.
So he was slightly cleaner than Jay.

 

RE: I'm still trying to work out the mechanics ...

Was this down West melton ?

 

Correct.

In The Plough.
He stunk like a dog otter.

You're now going to tell me he's rich & that he then started giving everyone a grand each after I left, arent you.

I'd rather be poor & not renk like a corpse.

 

RE: Correct.

No it just sounded like a regular Melton occurence.

 

They can be a funny bunch though

The bloke who lives round this way who owns Lakeside (of darts fame) together with two other hotels and just about every fruit machine for a 100 mile radius, drives around in a beaten up Ford Granada (scorpio mind)

 

RE: Correct.

He also claimed to own the Napoleon Casino.
And he sat on his own telling everyone a story about how he'd been left loads of property on the south coast in a will.

I wonder if he likes Indian food & shopping at Comet?

Did I mention he renked like a maggot farm on a hot day?

 

Mmm.

I think this bloke was simply a lying feckpig.

I was too smart for him.
I asked him who was on shift at the Omega & he didn't know.

Ahem.

Filthy rich.
The dirty old lovely person.

 

RE: blumming hummer, I think it'll be the latter

Somebody on the phone at work a while back said that they were "hopping mad"!

And I overheard another say that they were "flabbergasted" - I'm starting to wonder if I've not somehow gone back in time to the 1950's!