In 'The Sun' today. Page 3 beauties first night of Lesbian Love.

Stupidly

In an attempt to stop the infection spreading to his glans - Jay decided to stupidly masturbate, whilst using cheese graters as mittens.

 

Dejectedly

After yet another failed relationship Dirk Hartog sat dejectedly masturbating in his cold lonely bedroom.

 

Unwittingly

After standing too close to the tumble dryer - Jay finds he has unwittingly masturbated into his Farrahs.

 

pathetically

after his 36th attempt whilst blind drunk, he pathetically masterbated to the tune of his wife snoring

 

Exotically

Lying under the shade of a caribbean palm tree, TFP exotically masturbated. into his pina colada

 

Amazingly

After 11 pints, a double brandy & half a bottle of Taboo - Jay amazingly masturbates on his sofa ... only to be awoken at 3am by his Missus, Frank, witcockinthand.

 

Rampantly

Dirk rampantly masturbated his way through Jo Brand's latest show

 

Abominably

Naked, dirty and smelly TFP lay on the Town Hall steps abominably masturbating himself into oblivion.

 

remarkably

After breaking is wacking hand in a daring accident he remarkably masterbated into his bosses tea cup

 

Frustratedly

After yet another failure to get a hard on, Jay begrudgingly allowed his girlfriend to masturbate as it was the only way she'd get off that week. Again.

 

murderously

getting fed up of being disturbed by his sister, he murderously masterbated himself until he shot his mates rusty sheriff badge

 

Begrudgingly

After ******* his last post up, Dirk typed that Jay's Missus had had to w@nk herself off frustratedly at his limp ****.

 

Angelically

With his innocent face and boyish smile The Dillinger spent much of the train journey angelically maturbating under the Financial Times.

 

Psychotically

After killing and chopping them up, Rob Knowles Psychotically masturbated over the bodies of the Hartog set.

 

Legally

After winning his benchmark case - Gord Shepherder legally masturbated on SM's head.

 

Specifically

After spending the morning reading the new DFC catalogue - Jay specifically masturbated on a lovely set of leather cushions.

 

Fittingly

After being blown out for the 48th time straight - Hartog fittingly masturbates into a copy of Men's Elf magazine.

 

Inevitably

Despite many warnings not to, TFP inevitably masturbated onto the chest of a ginner bird.

 

Initially

Hartog initially masturbated whilst watching Sylvia Saint, but found his gaze resting upon Peter North as he shot his bolt.

 

Happily

Most men of his age did it as a last resort, but Jay Happily masturbated at any opportunity.