I've copied Whitey and written a bit of something when I was bored at work.

I'd have them both wrestling in jelly dressed like little lasses. Winner takes on Hitler and his flawed vision, pay per view only.

 

Re: Impressive work, mate

Thanks Kev, unfortunately my piece on Don Rowing turning the academy into a Victorian workhouse was lost in the great BBS re-jig of 2011. Unless anyone can find it?

 

Re: Impressive work, mate

I can't find that Mr C, but great minds must think a like cos I posted this last year...

http://v2.barnsleyfc.org.uk/showthr...effield-understand/page2&highlight=dickensian

"Young Jacob Butterfield is cast out in to the street by the nasty industrialist, Lord Ferguson, because his small tired hands are too small to compete with his new multi-thousand pound mechanised weaving machines purchased from abroad. Cast out in to the street and destitute, Jacob roams the streets of Manchester unable to find shelter or employment but determined not to be drawn in to the criminal ways of the violent and notorious Ethuhu gang.

But then one day Jacob - waif-like, dirty and emaciated - is spotted in the street by the kindly Old Man Rowing, who runs a utopian factory of skilled weavers. Old Man Rowing, determined not to succumb to the evils of industrialisation or 'progress', uses the philanthropy of Britain's greatest supplier of medical slugs, Lord Cryne, to employ artisan workers to produce rich tapestries at affordable quality (depending on which random pricing category he is applying that week).

So Old Man Rowing gathers up the melancholy bundle and carries him in his own arms to his Oakwell factory. Over the coming months he nurses him back to health, keeping him away from his sinister factory manager Davey, who is mistrusted by the people of Barnsley for his mysterious involvement in the disappearance of the jovial foreman Richie.

As the years go by Jacob begins to show the true genius of his weaving skills. The sinister Davey has been replaced due to allegations of involvement in the slave trade, with more and more mysterious foreign workers appearing from across the Empire. The new manager Robins, a dour utilitarian, starts to see young Jacob’s potential. But the months on the streets were not kind to Jacob and he is a sickly lad who easily tires, only able to weave for 6 hours a day. Preferring the industry of the functional Doyle, and simplicity of the small Argentinean peasant named Hugo, Jacob is used for small one-off commissions for the benefactor Lord Cryne.

But it the final act, there is a surprising turn of events. Following a row over wasted investment in over-priced, ageing looms, Robins storms out of the factory never to return. With Lord Cryne facing ill health that even his slugs can not cure and the financial future uncertain, Old Man Rowing appoints a jolly Lancastrian Siamese twin by the name of Hillcroft. Realising that young Jacob is a master-craftsman in waiting Hillcroft immediately makes him his chief weaver. Finally given his chance to shine Jacob creates the most amazing cloths that the factory has ever produced. Word spreads throughout the land and shadowy figures begin to appear outside the factory, whispering in Jacob’s ear, promising of untold riches, foreign markets, and the chance to become the world’s most famous weaver. What will he do? Does he repay Old Man Rowing for rescuing his childhood and giving him his life back? Or does he listen to the whispering shadows and take his chance to weave his way to the top? Will Old Man Rowing ‘cut his cloth’ accordingly? Or will Hillcroft be left with a threadbare team with poor quality cotton to fix his patchwork defence? "

 

Good read that. Your positivity is admirable.

Who's next on the neglected player faith healing list? Cwyka's not featured much really, he needs some love. You're a modern day football Eileen Drewery.

 

I'm beginning to think

You're the BBS version of the Child Catcher! If Charles Dickens lived today, I'm sure he'd write a book about you and your dislike for young footballers!

 

I can't leave big Kelvin just yet.

 

Re: Impressive work, mate

Quality that.

 

Re: I'm beginning to think

I don't dislike the ungrateful little back-stabbers!

 

Re: I'm beginning to think

Or the kids who have the temerity not to be intimidated by the likes of Shittu. Or the kids playing for the youth team who are that bad, it makes some fans get the actual scoreline wrong.

 

Ah, that's what you have being alluding to. Apologies for having a different opinion, Kev. I'll fall into line next time or just keep my trap shut.

 

Great stuff, Liam. Keep em coming.

 

You'll do neither

And stop being such a drama queen. You're not nearly as good as I am at it!

 

When you do can you come and faith heal me? I'll be 35 next month and despite running and cross-country ski-ing three times a week still have a pronounced bump round my middle. However, having seen the wonders you've worked with Daggers, I have rekindled my dream of playing for the reds one day. I'll shout you half my wages if I get a contract, are we on?