Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

Page 12 of 235
  1. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    21,233
    Likes Received:
    13,298
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    None
    Location:
    Dodworth
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    If I'd been given 50p each time I failed a maths test, I'd now have £7.39.
     
    Stahlrost, Apr 2, 2018
    #221
    Thrappo Tyke, Metatarsal, ScubaTyke and 5 others like this.
  2. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    54,454
    Likes Received:
    28,303
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    My wife told me she was leaving me due to my obsession with my job as a checkout operator at Asda.

    I said 'would you like any help with your packing?'
     
    SuperTyke, Apr 2, 2018
    #222
    Thrappo Tyke, Connor, DSLRed and 2 others like this.
  3. Jul

    Julian Broddle's Perm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2016
    Messages:
    2,422
    Likes Received:
    4,383
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    What does Speedy Gonzales have underneath his carpet??

    Underlay, Underlay!!
     
    Julian Broddle's Perm, Apr 2, 2018
    #223
    Metatarsal, Connor and TonyTyke like this.
  4. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    A coach load of Japanese tourists has been robbedat gunpoint in London this morning . Police haven't caught them, but have 240 pictures of the offenders
     
    Connor, Apr 2, 2018
    #224
    scarf, Metatarsal and Julian Broddle's Perm like this.
  5. Archey

    Archey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2008
    Messages:
    25,692
    Likes Received:
    20,986
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    A big massive boat
    Style:
    Barnsley
    Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

    Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

    Doctor: "Nine...... Eight....."
     
    Archey, Apr 2, 2018
    #225
  6. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    21,233
    Likes Received:
    13,298
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    None
    Location:
    Dodworth
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley Dark
    After weeks on the ST diet with no weight loss, I've just started the pineapple diet. It's brilliant. You can eat anything you want, apart from pineapple.
     
    Stahlrost, Apr 2, 2018
    #226
  7. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    54,454
    Likes Received:
    28,303
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.

    That was a trip down memory lane
     
    SuperTyke, Apr 2, 2018
    #227
    DSLRed, Thrappo Tyke and Metatarsal like this.
  8. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    That sat nav I bought from Toys R Us closing down sale,is crap,all it says is are we there yet.
     
    Connor, Apr 2, 2018
    #228
  9. HowMuch!

    HowMuch! Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2017
    Messages:
    1,643
    Likes Received:
    679
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Generally men have more hair than women but on the whole women have more hair than men .
     
    HowMuch!, Apr 2, 2018
    #229
  10. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    20,809
    Likes Received:
    14,102
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Stanley,Wakefield
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    How to tell the sex of an ant.

    Place them in a glass of water.

    If they sink they are female ants.

    If they float they are boy ant.
     
    Jack Tatty, Apr 3, 2018
    #230
    Old Goat and Metatarsal like this.
  11. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,292
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I’d like to take this opportunity to publicly thanks HSBC for my loans and credit cards.

    I don’t know how I can ever repay you!
     
    Connor, Apr 3, 2018
    #231
    Mido likes this.
  12. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    20,809
    Likes Received:
    14,102
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Stanley,Wakefield
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Conjunctivitis.com



    That's a site for sore eyes.
     
    Jack Tatty, Apr 3, 2018
    #232
    Mido likes this.
  13. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    5,992
    Likes Received:
    3,220
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Just found out my uncle has left me a stately home in his will.
    I have no idea where Sod Hall is, I'm just off to Google it now!
     
    TonyTyke, Apr 3, 2018
    #233
    wombwell-red, Baka, Connor and 2 others like this.
  14. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    20,809
    Likes Received:
    14,102
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Stanley,Wakefield
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Exit signs are definitely on the way out.
     
    Jack Tatty, Apr 3, 2018
    #234
  15. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    20,809
    Likes Received:
    14,102
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Stanley,Wakefield
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I met the man who invented crosswords the other day. Trying to remember his name. It was P something T something R
     
    Jack Tatty, Apr 3, 2018
    #235
    TonyTyke likes this.
  16. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    20,809
    Likes Received:
    14,102
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Stanley,Wakefield
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    "Shot through the heart and you're to blame
    You give international archery a bad name "
     
    Jack Tatty, Apr 3, 2018
    #236
  17. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    20,809
    Likes Received:
    14,102
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Stanley,Wakefield
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    When I die I hope it's peacefully in my sleep just like how.my father passed away.

    Sadly you couldn't say the same for the 45 passengers on his coach.
     
    Jack Tatty, Apr 3, 2018
    #237
  18. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Messages:
    5,992
    Likes Received:
    3,220
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Home Page:
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
     
    TonyTyke, Apr 3, 2018
    #238
    Metatarsal and Baka like this.
  19. Bak

    Baka Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2014
    Messages:
    5,622
    Likes Received:
    5,618
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I wondered why the cricket-ball was getting bigger: and then it hit me.
     
    Baka, Apr 3, 2018
    #239
  20. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    20,809
    Likes Received:
    14,102
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Stanley,Wakefield
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I once had a nightmare I was chopping up vegetables.


    Talk about dicing with death.
     
    Jack Tatty, Apr 3, 2018
    #240
Page 12 of 235

Share This Page