As for the bloke in the picture with the massive c*ock lol, his 2nd wish should be to change his name from Hank.
Breaking News: the Liverpool manager has just resigned, stating that he wants to return to Germany with all his family. Yes……the Klopps go back this weekend!!
A mate’s wife pops out for a pint of milk and doesn’t come back. I called round to see him after a few days and asked him how he was coping. He said “OK I’m using the powdered stuff”.
The mrs has just come into the living room wearing a little pvc number, fishnets and high heels, has handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best' I can't wait I fuckin love her Shepherd's Pie.
Just bought the wife some crotchless knickers for Halloween. Nothing sexual. Just gives her a much better grip on her broomstick.!! Flaps down---Ready for takeoff.
At a poker game last night I let out an appalling Silent But Deadly Fartand while the other players were using their cards to waft away the stench I got a sneaky look at what they were holding. I played mi trump card!!.. Oreyt oreyt I'll get mi coyt.
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. “Go and get help!” he cried. “But I can’t. I’m naked and my clothes are gone!” “Take my shoe”, he said, “and cover yourself.” Holding the shoe over her privates, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, “Please help me! My boyfriend’s stuck!” The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, “There’s nothing I can do…he’s in too far.”
You can always rely on the daily mail to produce well researched and verified stories This one is a humdinger - obviously deleted now but not before plenty of people grabbed a screenshot
As someone who sent over 20 years working for the Environment Agency, I find it incredible that this is still happening after 33 years. Water privatisation in 1989 was supposed to put a stop to this. How many billions have been paid in dividends which could have been used to clean up all this ****?
. An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot, and asked the owner if she could buy it. The owner said, "Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me - you do not want that parrot!" She said, "I can teach it good manners." But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds. She took it out and said, "Did you learn your lesson?" It said another bad word so she put it back in for 30 seconds. She took it out and asked if it learned its lesson yet. The parrot said "Brr... Yes, I learned my lesson, but, what did the chicken do?"
Q - Why did the bloke go to a party, wearing nothing but a condom on his face ?. A - F*k knows (nose!).