I was out taking my daily walk round Wath Lake this morning when I saw a zookeeper running towards me!..... he said “a tiger had escaped from the zoo!”..... I said “Which way did he go?” He replied “ you don’t think I’m foooookin chasing it do you!”.....
And another man walks into a bar, and he hurts his head, because it's an iron bar, and he's a bit pi*ssed lol. And somebody else walks into another bar that day, and the landlord says, are you fed up mate, why the long face ?. And the reply is, well, I am a horse after all!!.
Not funny but…… ⚠️BREAKING NEWS⚠️ Leaked manifesto document has just been seen from the Conservative Party!!..
Two slices of bread got married. The reception was going according to plan until someone toasted the bride and groom.
A piece of road walks into a bar and orders a pint. Just then the doors fly open and a piece of dual carriageway walks in. It goes over to the piece of road and says “I’m the hardest bit of road in this town.” At that moment the doors are torn off their hinges as a huge piece of motorway strides in and squares up to the other two. “I'll show you who's the hardest bit of road round here...” It’s all about to kick off when a small piece of green road comes in, orders a pint and sits down. The other three just look away in silence. The barman says “I thought you three boys were pretty hard?” “Yeah, but we’re not going to mess with him. He’s a cycle path.”
I put this ad in Barnsley Chronicle lonely hearts column. I like to go for long walks stopping regularly for a beer or 2. I enjoy good food and at the end of a day I would love to curl up on the settee with you and stroke your hair.' I only got one reply........ From a Golden Retriever