Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    R went to Goldsmiths this morning, r sez can tha mek mi a statue of mi Whippet

    E sez 18 carot

    R sez no eighting a bone' ll be fine
     
    Winker, Feb 23, 2019
    #801
  2. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Walked into the clock repair shop and slapped my **** on the counter... The bird behind the counter says ..
    Excuse me.. This is a clock shop .
    I replied . I know put 2 hands on this
     
    shed131, Feb 23, 2019
    #802
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  3. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Doing crossword t'day r sez to wife, wots a four letter word for a female relative ending in UNT,

    She sez Aunt,

    R sez pass me the fukin Tippex
     
    Winker, Feb 24, 2019
    #803
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  4. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Wife sez lets go art and av sum fun t'neight,

    R sez ok, but if tha gets back before me leave landing leight on
     
    Winker, Feb 24, 2019
    #804
  5. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Talking of crosswords the bloke who invented them is buried in the old cemetery at Cudworth... His grave can be found as you go through the main gates it's 4 across and 6 down from the church door
     
    shed131, Feb 24, 2019
    #805
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  6. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Talking of landing lights I left ours on last night when I got up this morning the house was full of aeroplanes
     
    shed131, Feb 24, 2019
    #806
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  7. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Went art last neight, got chatting to this bird, She sez fancy a fuk, i've got a pussy like a polo,

    R sez too fukin reight, anyhow i gets her home pulls darn her nikers and gasp,

    She sez surprised,

    R sez too fukin reight, i thought tha ment the mint, not a fukin HATCHBACK
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2019
    Winker, Feb 24, 2019
    #807
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  8. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Just bin darn to J,D,s gym, personal assistant sez bin'b'foor,

    R tek's mi mi vest off, She goes WOW, R sez pure Dynamite,

    R tek's mi tracky bottoms off, She goes WOW, R sez pure Dynamite,

    Pull's mi boxers darn, R sez pure Dynamite, she screams and sets off running, R run after her an sez wots up, She sez when i saw length of fuze r **** misen
     
    Winker, Feb 25, 2019
    #808
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  9. Ome

    Omen Well-Known Member

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    Happy Birthday to this thread!

    Longest ever regularly updated thread?
     
    Omen, Feb 25, 2019
    #809
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  10. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected......
     
    Connor, Feb 27, 2019
    #810
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  11. Tyke_67

    Tyke_67 Well-Known Member

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    Quit with the puns or I may have to resort to violins.
     
    Tyke_67, Feb 27, 2019
    #811
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  12. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    2 nuns having a shower one says wheres the soap 2nd says ooooooohhhhh my god doesn't it just


    2 nuns on a tandem one at the front says I've not come this way before...
    2nd says ooooooohhhhh neither have l but keep peddling it must be the cobbles
     
    shed131, Feb 27, 2019
    #812
  13. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    7FB52766-3941-4E9A-B115-67F8A1A814FC.jpeg
     
    Connor, Feb 28, 2019
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  14. tosh

    tosh Well-Known Member

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    Well squeeze my box!
     
    tosh, Mar 1, 2019
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  15. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Drumming my fingers as I watch the tumbleweed. I first saw that one a long time oboe
     
    Farnham_Red, Mar 1, 2019
    #815
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  16. dayglored

    dayglored Active Member

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    Staying in tonight, can’t get a baby sitar
     
    dayglored, Mar 1, 2019
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  17. WorsbroughTyke44

    WorsbroughTyke44 Active Member

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    Bloke knocked on door today and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
     
    WorsbroughTyke44, Mar 1, 2019
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  18. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Enjoying this thread whilst sipping champagne out of a flute glass
     
    shed131, Mar 2, 2019
    #818
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  19. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    1FADFF23-0AD0-4EA8-9F01-EE835E24A686.jpeg
     
    Connor, Mar 2, 2019
    #819
  20. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    Connor, Mar 2, 2019
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