Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. anstonred

    anstonred Well-Known Member

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    Or one with wonky eyes - Isiah (one eye is higher)
     
    anstonred, Jun 9, 2019
    #981
  2. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    A deer with no eyes no legs... Still no idea
     
    shed131, Jun 9, 2019
    #982
  3. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    62378268_10161746390560576_4559569953249820672_n.jpg
     
    RedStriker, Jun 9, 2019
    #983
  4. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    [​IMG]
     
    Farnham_Red, Jun 11, 2019
    #984
    MarioKempes, Old Goat, Baldrick and 1 other person like this.
  5. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    Apologies in advance...
    [​IMG]
     
    RedStriker, Jun 11, 2019
    #985
    DSLRed and arabian_ian like this.
  6. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    arabian_ian, Jun 11, 2019
    #986
    Connor and RedStriker like this.
  7. Austiniho

    Austiniho Well-Known Member

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    Why don’t you buy underpants from the Ukraine?

    Chernobyl fallout....
     
    Austiniho, Jun 12, 2019
    #987
    scarf likes this.
  8. LiverpoolRed

    LiverpoolRed Well-Known Member

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    Danny Wellbeck's brother is a bomb disposal expert called Stan ...
     
    LiverpoolRed, Jun 12, 2019
    #988
    MrsHallsToffeerolls, barnsley66, Spirit Ditch and 6 others like this.
  9. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

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    A woman goes into the bank with a fifty pound note sticking out of each ear. She asks if she can see the manager about her account. The bank clerk goes to see the manager and says, "there's a woman wanting to see you - she says she's one hundred pounds in arrears."
     
    Metatarsal, Jun 12, 2019
    #989
    Connor, shed131, KamikazeCo-Pilot and 1 other person like this.
  10. KamikazeCo-Pilot

    KamikazeCo-Pilot Well-Known Member

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    Vandals have attacked the grave of Karl Marx in highgate cemetery London. Police say it has all the makings of a communist plot .
     
    KamikazeCo-Pilot, Jun 13, 2019
    #990
    Connor, shed131 and Metatarsal like this.
  11. KamikazeCo-Pilot

    KamikazeCo-Pilot Well-Known Member

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    If the father of modern psychology tripped up on a banana skin would it be a Freudian slip?
     
    KamikazeCo-Pilot, Jun 13, 2019
    #991
    shed131 likes this.
  12. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    RedStriker, Jun 14, 2019
    #992
  13. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    How do you get a Nun pregnant?

    Dress her up as an alter boy.
     
    MarioKempes, Jun 15, 2019
    #993
    Metatarsal and shed131 like this.
  14. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Went to a fancy dress party me as a chicken, missus as an egg. Got home later feeling frisky. Now I know which came first.
     
    Hooky feller, Jun 15, 2019
    #994
  15. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Mate of mine went on Mastermind. Lost to 2 short planks.
     
    Hooky feller, Jun 15, 2019
    #995
  16. Spirit Ditch

    Spirit Ditch Well-Known Member

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    Why are there no headache tablets in the jungle?

    Because the parrots eat 'em all
     
    Spirit Ditch, Jun 15, 2019
    #996
    anstonred likes this.
  17. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    Lady (to her doctor): "What l am worried about is my height and not my weight."

    Doctor: "How come?"

    Lady: "According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches."
     
    Lordtyke, Jun 16, 2019
    #997
  18. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    Teacher: "Whoever answers my next question, can go home."

    One boy throws his bag out the window.

    Teacher: "Who just threw that?"

    Boy: "Me, and now I’m going home."
     
    Lordtyke, Jun 16, 2019
    #998
    thetykester likes this.
  19. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.

    He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

    "Not really," said the sheep. "Your name is written inside the cover."
     
    Lordtyke, Jun 16, 2019
    #999
    Father Benny Cake likes this.
  20. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    One thousand up!


    Father in a conversation with a neighbour...

    First son: Degree in Economics
    Second son: MBA
    Third son: PhD
    Fourth son: Thief

    Neighbour: Why can't you throw the fourth son out of your house?

    Father: He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2019
    Lordtyke, Jun 16, 2019
    #1000
    shed131 likes this.
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