My interview at Oakwell is this afternoon.

Just walked out of the interview.

I think they we're basically blown away.

I walked in and Ron Rowing, Barry Turner & a woman who looked like Mrs Doubtfire were sat there X-Factor style.

Firstly I set up the camera & tripod - which did take nearly 15 minutes, but they were busy reading the hand-outs I gave them (mainly naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend).
I then did a short creative piece. Represented our promotion to the Prem in the form of dance, culminating in our fall into administration.
The music was a mixture of Kraftwerk & Bonnie Tyler, which had everyone tapping their feet.

I then had a short break to walk my dog around the car park.
Don't want him in there too long on such a hot day.

Part two started with my dossier burning exercise.
I was shouting out the names of previous Managers whilst setting the dossiers on fire & swearing.
Unfortunately there was no bin in the room, so I had to stamp the fire out - which made some holes in the carpet.

After a short demonstration on sausage making I moved on to my tactical knowledge & footballing experience.
I may have then poked Barry Turner really hard in the eye.
This shows I'm tough, but fair.

I then took the Q&A session in my stride by taking off my clothes, bending over & replying whilst parting my bum cheeks.
I had planned to reply in Klingon, but decided this was a bit silly - so I stuck to Guatamalan.

The interview ended with Ron asking me if I had any questions.
After asking about his salary, sexual interests & criminal record the interview was brought to a close with a song.
I opted for "The Lady in Red".
At one point I thought they were getting the lighters out.

"Give me the fecking job now, you cnuts" was maybe a very strong way to finish the interview, but it shows I'm a straight talker.
I then told Barry Turner that he looked like Roy Orbison. He was very, very impressed.

The job is basically mine.
Get in there.

 

Wonder how he is getting on!? Sat here with no finger nails left. So nervous for him.

ponty give us a wave, ponty ponty give us a wave

Has a certain ring to it! Quite scary really!

 

Re: Just walked out of the interview.

I'm looking forward to your first game next weekend already!

 

Re: Just walked out of the interview.

Any news on your first team selection?
And formation?
Who will be captain?

 

Re: Just walked out of the interview.

I dont want to dash your hopes, but i think walking your dog might have cost you the job. Big mistake.

 

Re: Just walked out of the interview.

I'm busy next weekend.
Debbie McGee will have to take care of things.
I'm going to view a Donkey I sponsored at a Sanctuary in Newbury.

 

Re: Just walked out of the interview.

That's where you'd be mistaken.
I took Ron & Barry with me to show them a few coaching exercises while I was out there.
At one point I had Ron in a headlock while Barry was tickling his feet.

My **** may have popped out accidentally.
At least it didn't have blood in it.

 

Re: Just walked out of the interview.

Team selection will be based on the flavours of a box of Thornton Continental chocolates.
Formation is a secret. Mainly because I don't understand the question.
Mido will be captain.

Not signed the contract yet though.
Going to pop round to Ron's house later to sort it.
I think he might be one of those who likes watching other blokes stick it to his Missus.
I'll take a carrier bag full of sheaths just in case.

 

No blood in it at all? FlAciiiiiid! You were obviously the best candidate. Well done.

 

I didn't want to accidentally impregnate Ron Rowing, as I'm pretty sure he' actually a woman.
Thanks for that.
I'll celebrate later when I've signed the contract.
Designed a new cocktail:
Advocat (Yellow, Just like watching Brazil)
Ox Blood (Red, like the mighty Tykes)
Goat semen (White, for the away kit)
Lemonade (Clear, like Ron Rowings scalp)

Just remembered - I may have shat in a vase while I was waiting in reception.
Don't think anyone will find out.

 

Re: Just walked out of the interview.

Due jevu
Here we go again meet the new boss same as the old boss.
Thought you might have done something different instead of following on from Davey,Robins and hill