Ordinary things you’ve never tried

Doesn’t everyone use a plastic tablecloth?

 

Pork Pie.

The Mrs loves them. When we first moved to the UK she accidentally had one while out at a cafe somewhere for work and she was pissed off at me for never introducing them to her before.

They just don't look appetising to me at all.

 

In all seriousness... there are a few things to it.

Firstly, I blame my mum. The first experience I had of seeing a pizza was her munching a bastardisation of a findus "french bread" pizza. It had pineapple and other random things on. The smell of it was rancid (and the kitchen once my Gran died specialised in making foodstuffs into concoctions of evil!) and I just remember hearing the crunch and liquid white coloured cheese dripping down. Not good.

Secondly. Wet bread. if there is any phobia I have its wet bread. Thankfully most in this world have been saved from the pure terror of it. But as a kid who took sandwiches to school, there were times when my sandwich had wet bread as its base. For some reason, I associate wet bread with pizza. No idea why, but I do. So we have two episodes of terror baked into the pizza before we go any further.

Thirdly. The smell. To me, melted cheese should be made illegal. The smell of it. I can't get near cheese on toast. Though I don't mind mozarella on the top of a lasagne. I'm the same with cheese sauces. Cauliflower cheese... never!

Fourth. I'll likely eat most ingredients you put on a pizza. I love tomatoes, cheese (bizarrely), meat, bread, peppers. I like oregano. But the moment you put all those together, call it a pizza and put it near me, my throat just seals up.

So like most things, I'll probably just blame my mother. See also shrieking like a girl reaction to daddy long legs'!

 

Any of them I think. If I have I can't remember it

 

Get the right kind and I’m in heaven. One of the greatest things I’ve ever put in my mouth.

*I’ve given someone a tap-in there

 

Percy Turner’s. Best I’ve tasted especially when still hot and right out that oven.
Bite in and all that hot grease running down your hand. Mmmm lovely.

 

I’m the exact same but my dad loves the stuff. The smell it’s horrendous to me, I tried to have a sip once but couldn’t bring it close enough to my mouth because of the smell. I do like tiramisu though!

 

I know what you're both saying and I've heard it all before! I just can't bring myself to eat one. I don't really know why. I think it's the Jelly that puts me off more than anything, but the pork in the ones I've seen at least just never looks 'right'.

I accept that it's a somewhat ridiculous opinion, but I think one I'm unlikely to ever change. I also accept that I've probably just never been presented with a proper one, but there we go.

 

Fickle lady, fickle!

I love coffee. Love the smell. Can't stand the taste or smell of tea though.

 

See what you need to do is cut a slice, take out the chunk of condensed meat (give it to a friend, pet or feed the local foxes!), scrape out any jelly.... then eat the pastry! The pastry is generally very good (well, 30 years ago it was), the rest.... nar, give it a miss.

 

I’d say he was either showboating or never eats out or even notices cafes.
At fifty odd years and never been offered a bacon sarnie on a bun before when I’d suspect 99.9% cafes uses T cakes unless specifically asked for bread .
On the subject I’ve never tried jellied heels or cockney pie n mash .Oysters ,

 

I'm certainly not in the 'never used one' camp when it comes to that, but I can't stand plastic tablecloths. I'm not a fan of tablecloths in general, but plastic ones set me right on edge and go through me. I'm actually shuddering just thinking about it.

 

Prison

 

Asparagus.

 

Coffee for me too.

A lot of people at work seem to swear by it.

 

How did she accidentally eat a pork pie?
I couldn't eat cod roe, wife likes it!

 

That was the only way I could eat them for years. I reckon I have the hyperosmia that Gally mentioned above as my taste senses are through the roof. If I’m having Doritos (which took me years of nibbling a bit of one (maybe a 10th of one at a time and gradually building up) to like) and a salsa dip then I literally take the lid from the jar and dip my Dorito in the tiny bits that are on there and it still tastes really strong. I have such a small amount on that it’s almost impossible to see but it tastes as if I’ve piled it on. That’s why it takes me years to get acquired to a new taste.

 

I might have been using 'accidentally' a bit liberally!

She ordered it not really knowing what a pork pie was is a better way to put it I suppose.

 

I envy you. Morning after asparagus wee smell may as well be pored over pizza*!

* see earlier posts re pizza