The best nicknames you have heard

Also in sport, Patrick Bamford is called Tampax by Leeds fans cos he's in a week then out for three.

 

Got a guy at work called 1 watt because he's not the brightest. Then we got a newer lad who's not even as bright as 1 watt so he got called power cut

 

A lad that used to frequent our club called Lewis, not the sharpest knife in the drawer so he was known as Slate, Slate Lewis.

 

Some on here of a Hoyland persuasion may remember Steve Creek from Kirk balk school. English teacher / rugby coach / cricket coach.

The newly put together school cricket team met up for our first match of the season. We’d not even practised together so Creeky didn’t have a clue what most of us did. He asked who wanted to bowl. One of lads piped up, “Parker bowls” (my surname is Parker by the way)……..

Creeky says “right from now on I’m calling you Camilla!”. It’s stuck to this day. On the odd occasion I bump into one of the lads from the that team (or Hoyland St Peter’s u15’s) I always get “Ayup Camilla!!”. Don’t mind it at all, takes me back to some happy times.

 

Joe shithead , there is a story behind it

 

We always thought his nickname was Thrush.
Cos he was an irritating C #@T

 

One Sock - he was caught short on the way home one night many years ago.

The Boy - youngest member of our team - he was most upset when he argued that the new female staff member who was younger disqualified him from this name and we disagreed.

Bully - loved playing darts

Big Dick - we had two Richards at the time

 

Just remembered I was at school with a "Johnny Bullfrog". The whys of that are long gone though.

 

Used to know a bloke who lived Darton way called s**t flee

 

One lad we called sinex. He was a little squirt that got up your nose

 

Best one so far

 

Thai Rack. Overweight colleague of my mate who had a hygiene problem and a penchant for procuring young Asian women on the internet. This was in the days when getting UK residency was pretty simple. Had a whole series of them. Unsurprisingly, each one fcked off as soon as she'd legalised her immigration status.

 

schoolfriend called 'candles' because of what came DOWN his nose !

 

Taxi driver round here called Taf... I always thought he was Welsh but apparently it's fat backwards because he didn't take to kindly to being called fat once!

 

Gaffer at work called "kit kat" cos only had four digits on one hand.
Another Gaffer called "jellyfish" 'cos the Spineless **** would never say owt to thi face.
"Dogger" because of his 'erm dodgy passtime/hobby.
"Nappy arse."
"Fossil" old lass I used work with on neets.
"Babba pants", kid at work who walks like he's sh¡t himself.
"Knobnose"

........sithi.

 

Andrex arse, mooned their lass artside chennels and still had a few squares of bog roll left after wiping his ar5e.

 

Got a few in our group.

‘Cocknose’ because his nose looks like a …. even introduces himself as **** nose to women.

‘Chudz’ because when at school he gathered all of the chewing gum under the tables and made ‘the whopper’ and yes, he chewed it.

‘Cow’ or ‘moo’ because his cahoneys are the size of a bulls.

 

We had an apprentice with us a few years back who never ever turned up at the frequent social events so the lads christened him Olympic Torch because he never goes out.

 

There was a lad at Wath Grammar called "Jug head" cos he had, well a jug shaped head.
My mate Steve was called "Oopas" or "Oops" cos he was crap at footy and every time anyone breezed past him he said "oops".
Another lad was called "Sue" short for Seward.
My nickname was "Legs" cos my surname is Armstrong which became "Legsweak" and shortened to "Legs" even my mate's mam called me "Legs".