things you have been chased by in your life ?

the school bully and his gang for me, a full 45 minutes at dinnertime with spam fritter and roly poly and custard sloshing about in my stomach, finally got stitch and was bashed up outside the dinner hall bins, think they must have taken the salad option, because showed no sign of slowing in pursuit of me

 

Some Grimsby fans at Blundell Park on Easter Monday 1995, who were understandably very angry that they'd beaten us 1-0.

 

Copious amounts of women

 

thats ok if they not holding a pan of boiling water and your shouting "hide flopsy for ***** sake hide"

 

The nobhead from Hemsworth who was in the beef burger adverts. After swapping some abuse, him and his mate chased me and my cousin. When his mate caught me, he held me across the chest so the Nobhead could punch me, but hadn’t realised he’d allowed me a fulcrum so I could kick the nob at head height.

for clarity I was about 12 and I’ve only had one fight in the 40+ years since (similar stalemate)

 

wish I was clever enough to work out they fulcrum opportunity in a fight,love Donny red

 

A bloody goat once...right nasty b*****d it was, a school friend of mine lived with his family on a smallholding that we used to ride his old scrambler bike round, they kept a few goats amongst other animals. For some reason this goat decided it didn't like me and started following me around...gave me a gentle nudge to which I responded with a few kind words and sort of patted his head like you would a friendly dog...wrong thing to do apparently, he started nudging me again...getting progressively harder until he was stepping back and giving me the full blown head butt, I thought he'd broken my thigh bone so I hit him with the crash helmet which only served to enrage him even more....I ended up standing on the seat of the bike and shinning a few feet up a small tree....everyone else thought it was hilarious but as they were dragging him away he was like a drunk in a rage jumping and pulling to get at me....never did find out what I'd done to upset him.

 

Swans and geese at Cawthorne Park when I was 4. Pricks.

 

Stinging insects when I accidentally disturbed em looking for a golf ball, not sure what they were. (hornets at a guess) I didn’t stop to find out. Got stung all over my arms. My bro in laws x2 pissin the sens laughing in the distance. B’stds.

 

Geese, yup. Nasty b’stds. Especially when your a young un. And don’t know wtf to do, bar run.

 

Was that the game that one of their fans jumped into the away end and there were people fighting on the pitch and someone used the corner flag like a javelin? That was a mad fxkn day.

 

Lots of dirty left backs. Never caught me though..

 

I hear ya.

 

Daft thing is, and folk may, or may not, find it strange. Bullying was a fear in general (mental bullying in my eyes the far worse of the 2) not a beating. Most of the, shall we say, tougher lads, weren’t into that game and would threaten those who were.
Lasses were more to be feared in feightin. Never interrupt 2 lasses scrapping. They’ll both turn on you. Vicious species.

 

Barnsley fan.

 

Women and dogs. The two are not mutually exclusive.

 

A bull...I tried the straddle high jump method over a barbed wire fence and ripped to bits a brand new pair of wranglers

 

Yep. Absolutely terrifying. Never been back to Grimsby since, and looking at where they are in the league we'll hopefully not be playing them any time soon. I wonder how aggressive they'd have been if we'd actually won?!

 

A Jack Russell terrier as I was delivering flyers for my best mate’s parents’ new private taxi company. About 11 years old with a phobia of dogs. The flyers literally went flying. They didn’t ask me to help again.

 

I’m aware - but I’ve been to plenty of away games; we’re not short of Nobhead fans.