Today, I punched a cow in the face - puppy update

Been in a field full of angry cows, with a dog, er and the wife. It's very scary, especially when they are all bunched near the only style in the field. I **** and walked about 2 miles around to keep out of their way. You are supposed to carry 2 sticks and tap them together to move the cows. Or punch them on the nose, obviously.

 

Bloody hell! First you're picking fights with other fans. Then you're having a go at the stewards. Now you're fighting innocent cows who are simply protecting their young.
You've transformed into an SS Storm trooper!

 

God love them!! It's that look they give you. My dogs a proper moron. Completely stupid. Or is he? I end up carrying bags around cleaning up his *****.....!

 

And next week on countryfile...

 

I wasn't trespassing, it was a public footpath.

 

is cow punching the new trend after cow tipping?

 

Doesn't matter either way, does it? It was written to make people laugh and the truth has got nothing to do with it. For the record, 100% of everything I write on here is a complete lie. Including this.

 

Well if that's the case you're a full blown pussy! It was fair game, they're on our turf. One punch? You ought to have rung for some boyz and taken te entire herd out. Big Stylee! Missed a trick theer!

 

Well all of the above entertained me apart from the one who hath not sinned chipping in about pitch invasions again.

 

Oi, I was having a laff, hope you are aswell (hence the 's etc). The OP knows me well enough to know Im renegade enough to know that aswell as chinning a cow I'd readily drop kick a giraffe or give a donkey a severe Chinese burn. I'm rebellious by nature. I'm sure you think likewise;-) Chill out. I hope your heart isn't the same temperature as your user name.

 

It was the Prince I was having a dig at.
I don't take anything serious on here mate, I just enjoy all the light hearted stuff.
I've been sticking up for you, mental the people going after you as if you should be on skid row

 

Ha ha! Me neither. Crossed wires. Cheers like, I've had to phone in sick last couple of days. Can't leave house due to the shame.
But..... at least I don't assault cattle!

 

I wouldn't fancy taking one on myself either

 

Many years ago I went down to Oakwell to look around the new East Stand so I could choose a seat for my season ticket. I took my border collie Jimmy with me, on a lead, around the edge of the pitch so he wouldn't fry in the car. (another one there for you to try Jay!)
There weren't many people around at the time, and as we walked behind the goal at the old open end Jimmy decided that the time was right to drop his pants and dump a load behind the nets on the edge of the grass.
These were pre-poobag days so I had to pretend to ignore it and dragged him onwards all innocent like.
I have always wondered if it might be the one and only time a groundsman at Oakwell has had to clean up dog **** off the playing surface.

 

Trust me there's been plenty of dog **** on the pitch over the years

 

He worries me

I have witnessed the 'BEAST' in action... I was stunned and shocked.

 

Unlikely because some time ago, well before the new East Stand was built, people used to take dogs to the match, or stray ones used to sneak in under the turnstiles. It wasn't a regular thing but I've seen dogs on the pitch more than once. No doubt in the excitement of the chase they will have expelled the odd parcel.