Update on my trans thread from a couple of months ago

I said I'd provide some kind of update occasionally.

I've been told my expected waiting time for actual NHS treatment: 7 years. Up from 4 years pre-pandemic.

At the moment I still look male. My clothes are slightly feminine but not female. They just look a bit... camp. My hair is long but I don't wear makeup.

Number of times verbally abused in the street since that post: 6, all but one on Sheffield road between the Victoria pub and the Alhambra.

Number of times physically abused in the street: 1 (Chilton street, between Donny road and Cemetery road).

It's bloody shíte.

 

No words mate. I'll never ever be able to get my head around some people's actions.

Props to you though, I imagine that the mental strength to see this through is not insignificant.

And if I see you on Sheffield Road I'll give you a high five and we'll nip into town for a beer.

 

Not good mate. And 7 years is gonna be a hell of a wait for you.
Hopefully things might speed up for you but until then please take care and stay safe.

Maybe stop wearing that Wednesday top might help.

 

Keep at it mate.

 

I shít you not there was a bloke in a Dundee shirt having a cig outside Morrisons yesterday. I cursed him on your behalf.

 

Don't panic the 7 year wait won't mean you end up looking like Caitlin Jenner or Frank Maloney.

 

It’s just such a basic thing in anyone who has a heart: unless you have a valid and serious reason not to be, just be nice. Some folk are just incapable.

 

Thanks for the update. And I'm so disappointed you've had any form of abuse.

Be strong, be you. And remember there are people who will listen and support however they can. Not everyone is a neanderthal. But sadly, there are too too many.

 

Totally agree. I work on a department reception and you'd be amazed at the number of people who are rude just because they can be without repercussions.

 

Haha thank you for that mate.

 

It's horrendous mate. I know someone that has been waiting almost 3 years now, just for the inital consultation.

Of course this won't get any exposure anywhere. All the exposure will be about how 'easy' it is and how cis women are at risk because it's so easy to change gender.

 

It’s a difficult one, because cis women do have some valid concerns about the behaviour and intentions of certain trans women. There are some predatory men who use it as an easy way into protected spaces etc. I hate saying it, but I’ve heard first hand accounts. And when men do stuff like that, both us actual trans women and those who were born female suffer for it.

Women are real. Trans women are real. Perverted blokes who want to take advantage are also real.

It’s why I don’t judge women for being cautious, careful or worried about trans people they don’t know, as much as it can be hurtful personally. I only judge when the discourse becomes mean for mean’s sake.

 

I'm not deriding anybody for being cautious, merely the way that it's presented by certain aspects of society and the media

 

Would predatory be dressing in drag to have a lesbian rendezvous?

 

Definitely. Caution as I described it is one thing, but we do have a huge transphobia problem in the UK.

 

I cannot fathom how somebody could possibly abuse a stranger in the street, I'm lucky that I'm a very average looking white. straight male so it's hard to get my head around. The only thing I can say, if it's any solace, that anyone that says anything to you are such cretins that you know you will always be a better person than them. From my experience, people that are nasty are usually so because they're so unhappy with their own life.

Take care of yourself and keep your chin up.

 

Nothing I will say will help with what you’re going through mate or help with the idiots you’re having to put up with but what I will say is you will get plenty of support on here and even though we probably couldn’t understand what your going through I’m pretty sure if you just needed to talk then there’s plenty on here that would listen, me included,

 

For me, it's heart breaking listening to the problems you face. However, it's also heart warming that you felt able to post your feelings on the initial post a few months ago (probably the best post ever on the BBS) and the positive reaction it produced with the BBS community. I can only echo some of the fine fine comments on the original thread & this one.
You are definitely amongst friends when you post.

 

@Gravy Chips have you ever contacted Barnsley's very own Stephanie Hirst (radio dj) for any advice or support?

 

It's dreadful what you have to go through and the rest of us cannot begin to imagine it. It goes to show how many bad people are out there. You keep being you and try not to let them get to you. It's great you feel you can share on here such personal stories as you are amongst friends. This BBS always has disagreements but I think everyone knows if they go through a bad moment in their life and decide to share on here they would get complete support from others.