'We've baked it in different flavours and still come to similar conclusions'

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'We're on the same page'
'Embedding knowledge retention'
'live and breathe the product'

 

There's no I in team but there's an I in pie, as in meat pie and meat is an anagram of team.

 

Gonna use that one.

 

Picking the low hanging fruit - another business phrase that sounds chuffing ridiculous.

Every time someone says one of these around me I immediately draw attention to it...I love asking them to expand on it.

 

I was in a project review meeting late last year and a senior consultant decided that as the project was now live and all the planning and hard work was done he'd make an appearance. He spoke complete ****** every time he opened his mouth but the one anecdote that really sticks in my memory was this...

There is no I in team but there is an M and an E in team, capeesh troops? He then explained that by M and E he meant 'me' meaning all of us as individuals just in case we didn’t understand. He very nearly got a ****ting.

 

'continuous improvement'

 

Did he really use the word "capeesh"?

 

Reworked mi CV - I'll show you later. You'll love it.

 

2 day 'team event' has brought two new ones:

'We're pushing on an open door'
'We need to start future gazing'

 

One of my favourites from a few years ago. It was decided that each level of detail in a project should have a term, so the main view was going to be called "sea level", higher level overviews would be bird level, cloud level etc, whilst getting more into detail was going to be fish level, crab level, or something like that. Anyway, at one meeting they'd described what was the lowest level - sea bed, and then someone pointed out we needed more detail, so I said "shall I get a shovel then and we can dig further down?"

 

Take a helicopter view - what!!!

 

Moving forward ! Just that

 

A few years ago I was in a project management meeting and someone quite senior..

...used the phrase " helicoptering above the situation" to which one of my colleagues - quite senior with many years experience and not afraid to expose ******** - instantly responded with... " ..in order that the downdraft can blow all the sh*t away?" The meeting was divided onto two camps on that one. Those of us who laughed out loud and those who sat in silence afraid of the HR/personnel management team also in the room. I was definitely in the former (larger) group.