Wow, that would take a bit of thinking about. So here are two examples of Yorkshire lyrical genius. And cross me heart, love, I'll keep off the pale ale. Or Well, what else could I do? I said 'I'll see what I can do'.
Down at Stoke Mandeville I bumped into Mr IQ I said Hey albino, this is not 1972 Stub out your King Edward and get that small boy off your knee And melt down your rings and things and get yourself off my TV Jim could you fix it for me To come down and suck out your kidneys? I've got this young brother, you see Who wants to stay alive to watch Bilko
I got stopped by a lady cop In my automobile She said get out and spead your legs And then she tried to cop a feel That cop she was all dressed in blue Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you She stuck my butt with her big black stick I said "what's up?" now suck my dick Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand On her crotch so very warm I could feel her getting wet through her uniform Proppin' her up on the black and white Unzipped and slipped "ooo that's tight" I swatted her like no swat team can Turned a cherry pie right into jam
Cornered the boy kicked out at the world, The world kicked back a lot ****in' harder now... Can't Stand Me Now - The Libertines
Again I can think of loads, but 2 stick in my mind 1 Forward he cried from the rear and the front rank died-Pink Floyd, Us and Them track from Dark side of the Moon Album 2.And ruling the country are unfaithful husbands who spank little boys gagged and bound, Turn it up track from a Simply Red album, obviously from around the time of the Tory Rent boy scandal.
"What an arsehole what a f**king ****er what a tosspot, a toe rag, a fart in a jar" - "Arsehole" by Snuff. "In debt I owed someone a fiver, maybe I should try my hand at brag, James Dean was just a careless driver and Marilyn Monroe was just a slag" - "99% of Gargoles Look Like Bob Todd" - HMHB "Soon I discovered this rock thing was true Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil Jesus was an architest previous to his career as a prophet All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the workd So there was only one thing I could do Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long" - "Jesus Built my Hotrod" - Ministry
You won't find these on 'Greatest Hits'. Fair play to CBS for recording them. As I was out walking on a corner one day, I spied an old hobo, in a doorway he lay. His face was all grounded in the cold sidewalk floor And I guess he'd been there for the whole night or more. Only a hobo, but one more is gone Leavin' nobody to sing his sad song Leavin' nobody to carry him home Only a hobo, but one more is gone A blanket of newspaper covered his head, As the curb was his pillow, the street was his bed. One look at his face showed the hard road he'd come And a fistful of coins showed the money he loved. Only a hobo, but one more is gone Leavin' nobody to sing his sad song Leavin' nobody to carry him home Only a hobo, but one more is gone Does it take much of a man to see his whole life go down, To look up on the world from a hole in the ground, To wait for your future like a horse that's gone lame, To lie in the gutter and die with no name? Only a hobo, but one more is gone Leavin' nobody to sing his sad song Leavin' nobody to carry him home Only a hobo, but one more is gone
And the Mother of them all.... Bessie Smith. Once I lived the life of a millionaire Spending my money, I didn't care I carried my friends out for a good time Bying bootleg liquor, champagne and wine Then I began to fall so low I didn't have a friend, and no place to go So if I ever get my hand on a dollar again But if I ever hands... I'm gonna hold on to it till them eagle's green I'm gonna hold on to it ev'ry negro'es friend Nobody knows you when you down and out In my pocket not one penny And my friends I haven't any But If I ever get on my feet again Then I'll meet my long lost friends It's mighty strange, without a doubt Nobody knows you when you down and out I mean when you down and out Mmmmmmmm... when you're down and out Mmmmmmmm... not one penny And my friends I haven't any friends? Mmmmmmmm... Well I felt so low when I fell so low Nobody wants me round their door Mmmmmmmm... Without a doubt, No man can use you wen you down and out when I mean when you down and out
Last Thoughts On Woody Guthrie, by Bob Dylan. When yer head gets twisted and yer mind grows numb When you think you're too old, too young, too smart or too dumb When yer laggin' behind an' losin' yer pace In a slow-motion crawl of life's busy race No matter what yer doing if you start givin' up If the wine don't come to the top of yer cup If the wind's got you sideways with with one hand holdin' on And the other starts slipping and the feeling is gone And yer train engine fire needs a new spark to catch it And the wood's easy findin' but yer lazy to fetch it And yer sidewalk starts curlin' and the street gets too long And you start walkin' backwards though you know its wrong And lonesome comes up as down goes the day And tomorrow's mornin' seems so far away And you feel the reins from yer pony are slippin' And yer rope is a-slidin' 'cause yer hands are a-drippin' And yer sun-decked desert and evergreen valleys Turn to broken down slums and trash-can alleys And yer sky cries water and yer drain pipe's a-pourin' And the lightnin's a-flashing and the thunder's a-crashin' And the windows are rattlin' and breakin' and the roof tops a-shakin' And yer whole world's a-slammin' and bangin' And yer minutes of sun turn to hours of storm And to yourself you sometimes say "I never knew it was gonna be this way Why didn't they tell me the day I was born" And you start gettin' chills and yer jumping from sweat And you're lookin' for somethin' you ain't quite found yet And yer knee-deep in the dark water with yer hands in the air And the whole world's a-watchin' with a window peek stare And yer good gal leaves and she's long gone a-flying And yer heart feels sick like fish when they're fryin' And yer jackhammer falls from yer hand to yer feet And you need it badly but it lays on the street And yer bell's bangin' loudly but you can't hear its beat And you think yer ears might a been hurt Or yer eyes've turned filthy from the sight-blindin' dirt And you figured you failed in yesterdays rush When you were faked out an' fooled white facing a four flush And all the time you were holdin' three queens And it's makin you mad, it's makin' you mean Like in the middle of Life magazine Bouncin' around a pinball machine And there's something on yer mind you wanna be saying That somebody someplace oughta be hearin' But it's trapped on yer tongue and sealed in yer head And it bothers you badly when your layin' in bed And no matter how you try you just can't say it And yer scared to yer soul you just might forget it And yer eyes get swimmy from the tears in yer head And yer pillows of feathers turn to blankets of lead And the lion's mouth opens and yer staring at his teeth And his jaws start closin with you underneath And yer flat on your belly with yer hands tied behind And you wish you'd never taken that last detour sign And you say to yourself just what am I doin' On this road I'm walkin', on this trail I'm turnin' On this curve I'm hanging On this pathway I'm strolling, in the space I'm taking In this air I'm inhaling Am I mixed up too much, am I mixed up too hard Why am I walking, where am I running What am I saying, what am I knowing On this guitar I'm playing, on this banjo I'm frailin' On this mandolin I'm strummin', in the song I'm singin' In the tune I'm hummin', in the words I'm writin' In the words that I'm thinkin' In this ocean of hours I'm all the time drinkin' Who am I helping, what am I breaking What am I giving, what am I taking But you try with your whole soul best Never to think these thoughts and never to let Them kind of thoughts gain ground Or make yer heart pound But then again you know why they're around Just waiting for a chance to slip and drop down "Cause sometimes you hear'em when the night times comes creeping And you fear that they might catch you a-sleeping And you jump from yer bed, from yer last chapter of dreamin' And you can't remember for the best of yer thinking If that was you in the dream that was screaming And you know that it's something special you're needin' And you know that there's no drug that'll do for the healin' And no liquor in the land to stop yer brain from bleeding And you need something special Yeah, you need something special all right You need a fast flyin' train on a tornado track To shoot you someplace and shoot you back You need a cyclone wind on a stream engine howler That's been banging and booming and blowing forever That knows yer troubles a hundred times over You need a Greyhound bus that don't bar no race That won't laugh at yer looks Your voice or your face And by any number of bets in the book Will be rollin' long after the bubblegum craze You need something to open up a new door To show you something you seen before But overlooked a hundred times or more You need something to open your eyes You need something to make it known That it's you and no one else that owns That spot that yer standing, that space that you're sitting That the world ain't got you beat That it ain't got you licked It can't get you crazy no matter how many Times you might get kicked You need something special all right You need something special to give you hope But hope's just a word That maybe you said or maybe you heard On some windy corner 'round a wide-angled curve But that's what you need man, and you need it bad And yer trouble is you know it too good "Cause you look an' you start getting the chills "Cause you can't find it on a dollar bill And it ain't on Macy's window sill And it ain't on no rich kid's road map And it ain't in no fat kid's fraternity house And it ain't made in no Hollywood wheat germ And it ain't on that dimlit stage With that half-wit comedian on it Ranting and raving and taking yer money And you thinks it's funny No you can't find it in no night club or no yacht club And it ain't in the seats of a supper club And sure as hell you're bound to tell That no matter how hard you rub You just ain't a-gonna find it on yer ticket stub No, and it ain't in the rumors people're tellin' you And it ain't in the pimple-lotion people are sellin' you And it ain't in no cardboard-box house Or down any movie star's blouse And you can't find it on the golf course And Uncle Remus can't tell you and neither can Santa Claus And it ain't in the cream puff hair-do or cotton candy clothes And it ain't in the dime store dummies or bubblegum goons And it ain't in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices That come knockin' and tappin' in Christmas wrappin' Sayin' ain't I pretty and ain't I cute and look at my skin Look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow Look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry When you can't even sense if they got any insides These people so pretty in their ribbons and bows No you'll not now or no other day Find it on the doorsteps made out-a paper mache´ And inside it the people made of molasses That every other day buy a new pair of sunglasses And it ain't in the fifty-star generals and flipped-out phonies Who'd turn yuh in for a tenth of a penny Who breathe and burp and bend and crack And before you can count from one to ten Do it all over again but this time behind yer back My friend The ones that wheel and deal and whirl and twirl And play games with each other in their sand-box world And you can't find it either in the no-talent fools That run around gallant And make all rules for the ones that got talent And it ain't in the ones that ain't got any talent but think they do And think they're foolin' you The ones who jump on the wagon Just for a while 'cause they know it's in style To get their kicks, get out of it quick And make all kinds of money and chicks And you yell to yourself and you throw down yer hat Sayin', "Christ do I gotta be like that Ain't there no one here that knows where I'm at Ain't there no one here that knows how I feel Good God Almighty THAT STUFF AIN'T REAL" No but that ain't yer game, it ain't even yer race You can't hear yer name, you can't see yer face You gotta look some other place And where do you look for this hope that yer seekin' Where do you look for this lamp that's a-burnin' Where do you look for this oil well gushin' Where do you look for this candle that's glowin' Where do you look for this hope that you know is there And out there somewhere And your feet can only walk down two kinds of roads Your eyes can only look through two kinds of windows Your nose can only smell two kinds of hallways You can touch and twist And turn two kinds of doorknobs You can either go to the church of your choice Or you can go to Brooklyn State Hospital You'll find God in the church of your choice You'll find Woody Guthrie in Brooklyn State Hospital And though it's only my opinion I may be right or wrong You'll find them both In the Grand Canyon Sundown
I saw two shooting stars last night, I wished on them but they were only satellites, it's wrong to wish on space hardware, I wish, I wish you'd care... from New England by Billy Bragg Or from Billy again: How can you lie there and think of England when you don't even know who's in the team... From greetings to the new brunette. Or from Saturday Boy by billy again: I was looking up the meaning of unrequited, while she was giving herself for free, at a party to which I was never invited.. And Morrissey's written loads..
Stereophonics It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees Not really sure what hidden meaning is but none the less a great line